Toxic.

[Me_who]

Eh, Hello, I think I am toxic...I am in a situation where all I do is look for a chance to confront others on how they are doing everything wrong and I suddenly realised yesterday that perhaps its me as well, yes this situation triggers me and makes me feel crazy, but I were emotinally healthy wouldn't I be out of there in a flash, I must be getting somethign from it, even if its dysfunctional? I don't think I have much respect for the people there and their way of doing things, unyet I demand respect from them even though I keep that hidden from my own consciousness...I dont want to be toxic!! I've decided at the strike of 12 last night to make my first ever new yr promise and that is to walk away from these group of people unyet the thought they will continue quite well without me fills me with dread...I'm not sure where I should go from here...just walking away isn't a "cure" in itself, what can I do? suggestions please.

[Booky]

Originally Posted by Me_who

Eh, Hello, I think I am toxic...I am in a situation where all I do is look for a chance to confront others on how they are doing everything wrong and I suddenly realised yesterday that perhaps its me as well, yes this situation triggers me and makes me feel crazy, but I were emotinally healthy wouldn't I be out of there in a flash, I must be getting somethign from it, even if its dysfunctional? I don't think I have much respect for the people there and their way of doing things, unyet I demand respect from them even though I keep that hidden from my own consciousness...I dont want to be toxic!! I've decided at the strike of 12 last night to make my first ever new yr promise and that is to walk away from these group of people unyet the thought they will continue quite well without me fills me with dread...I'm not sure where I should go from here...just walking away isn't a "cure" in itself, what can I do? suggestions please.

After reading you post a couple times then I wonder more-so as to what exactly you might mean by being toxic.

By the words in your post above then I find myself as being toxic too.

Booky must not be toxic ?

My family hates me and they see me as some kind of monster and that is because I say awful things like "codependency" and "feelings" and say things about "abuse" and my few friends do not like that stuff either.

Of course I always blamed it onto my family and my lost friends for being dysfunctional and so I became the outcast - the black sheep - the toxic one.

If that is what you mean by toxic? as I am not sure here.

If you mean you are supplying them drugs or you are the drunk or you start perverted relationships then that kind of toxic would be different and I do not do stuff like that.

So I did a "search" of toxic personalities and here are two results;

Toxic Partners:

1. Are insensitive to their partner's requests

2. Verbally criticize their partners (constant verbal abuse)

3. Are self-absorbed, narcissistic and demanding

4. Hurt and confuse their non-toxic mates

5. Change the rules in the middle of the game

6. De-mean and de-value their mates

7. Control their partner's lives in everything

8. Don't take responsibility for their mistakes

9. Lack trust, and often accuse their partners

10. Seek physical control over their partners

11. Seek mental control over their partners

12. Seek emotional control over their partners

13. Deny what they said before,...They lie easily, then deny it. Link HERE.

I use to be that kind of toxic and now I see my family of origin as still being that toxic way.

Now I see myself as anti-toxic and so my toxic family hides from me.

And this link is EHarmony deffinition of toxic;
http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=art...2091&aid=51404

Is that what you mean by you being toxic?

[annalittlebit]

Wow Booky---Reading that makes me so Thankful for also NOT being that person anymore -----I learn so much from this forum--Glad You're Here !!!!!

[Me_who]

Perhaps this "toxic" bunch of people are really doing a good job on me, because I really felt I was going made and yes I mention words such as "feelings" and "abuse" and they start to gang up and offer each other support but with no logic behind it, except to say a very dubious relationship with their "gods" whom they pretend to "serve"...sigh, thanks for your reply.

[Booky]

Originally Posted by Me_who

Perhaps this "toxic" bunch of people are really doing a good job on me, because I really felt I was going mad and yes I mention words such as "feelings" and "abuse" and they start to gang up and offer each other support but with no logic behind it, except to say a very dubious relationship with their "gods" whom they pretend to "serve"...sigh, thanks for your reply.

That makes sense to me too, and you are especially right in seeing it as their gods.

The better that we get in recovery then the more anti-toxic we become and other people get the message quick.

I relate this to the Parable Jesus told in Matthew 7:24-28 quoted below.

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24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

28 And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: KJV.
====

I see it this way because when we get into recovery then our foundation becomes stronger like on a rock, but others have the weaker house and it takes then a lot of effort and work to keep their dysfunctional world from falling apart.

So our recovery is their "storm" and we rock their foundation.