I need any help I can get!

[camsmom]

I'm a single parent to a boy with autism. I have raised him since he was a baby of course and his father left when he was 3, which was 7 years ago. It has been almost impossible for me to find a job outside the home when my son is at school, especially now. This is my life: I have a boyfriend I see 2-3 days a week, the rest of the time, I'm home with my son and I clean a couple houses part time just to get out of the house. When I'm with my boyfriend I'm happy and consumed, when he is gone, I'm lonely, anxious and depressed. He has a normal life and a job that keeps him very busy. I need something for me and I just don't know where to start. Believe me I've looked for jobs but I will continue to do so. I understand that the lack of stimulation in my own life only makes me more needy when it comes to my relationship. I know this but what the heck can I do with my time? Where are people during the day that I can work with, talk with, be with, so I don't have to be alone all the time? I don't want to sound like a victim, but I've raised this autistic boy alone now for 10 years and he has been my purpose. I love him, but I'm lacking my own purpose and feeling utterly unfulfilled. I wish I could take satisfaction int he purpose that is before me but I am home ALL THE TIME. I need another purpose! I'm thinking so much that my anxiety get's control of me and then I'm frozen. I wake up in the midle of the night, wide awake... and thinking! Last week I went to the doctor sobbing and out of control. I just started paxil and received a few anti anxiety meds to use until the meds kick in. I need help. I've found a couple of meetings in m area but I have to try to find a care giver so I can go to these meetings. I need inspiration, hope, something! I need a good book to read, something that will renew my spirit and give me hope and strength again. Please, anything? It will be another long day at home, just trying to force myself to keep busy. It's so sad when Iwake up in the morning and the first thing I dread is the long day ahead of me! I look forward to bed time.

[Booky]

Originally Posted by camsmom

I need another purpose!

I need inspiration, hope, something! I need a good book to read, something that will renew my spirit and give me hope and strength again. Please, anything?

It's so sad when Iwake up in the morning and the first thing I dread is the long day ahead of me!

What I suggest is that you read the complete King James Bible from front to the end.

And if that seems too much then here on this link HERE is a book called "The United States and Britain in Prophecy" and it is about Bible prophecy, and that site gives the book free online or delivered free in the mail, and no strings attached.

I do not much like that Church on that link but I do like that book and it makes the Bible far more interesting since it tells how the USA and Britain fit into the Bible prophecies in the present and the future and that is really cool.

And a lot of people today tend to avoid religion but that is a big mistake because the stories of God are stories of humanity, and our whole world is shaped by the Bible in so many ways.

The biggest reason that there are religious wars and different denominations and we have big religious arguments is because religion and the Bible are so powerfully interesting and even fun.

And it is not so simple as being the Bible is giving us inspiration, hope and purpose - oh no, it is that the thing we call "God" gives all that stuff.

[camsmom]

I don't even have enough faith to start with such a huge undertaking right now. Was thinking along the lines of a self help book to get me going in the right direction. I know I need God but right now but I also desperately need understanding, and compassion from human being who cares. I have been praying and talking to God daily but I'm still alone and I need people who get it. I just don't think sitting down and opening up a bible is going to cure anything right now, I'm just not open enough to it. I'm going to a Coda meeting tomorrow night and I can't wait!

They say God works through people, and this is where I need to start.

[Booky]

Originally Posted by camsmom

I don't even have enough faith to start with such a huge undertaking right now. Was thinking along the lines of a self help book to get me going in the right direction. I know I need God but right now but I also desperately need understanding, and compassion from human being who cares. I have been praying and talking to God daily but I'm still alone and I need people who get it. I just don't think sitting down and opening up a bible is going to cure anything right now, I'm just not open enough to it. I'm going to a Coda meeting tomorrow night and I can't wait!

They say God works through people, and this is where I need to start.

There is a book called "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that is excellant, link to it HERE, and it is free at the Public Library or cheaper at Amazon.com

Creating the healthy boundaries is like the doorway to recovery because the boundaries affect everything else.

An interesting boundary link with no book is HERE and another HERE.

[paulm]

CHeaper than free? what a deal I'll take two

[paulm]

hey CamsMom, I feel for you, I think you need to take advantage of what little free time you have. the bookstore may be a good place to get some quiet time and a cup of joe. from the way you sound I think that being alone and in isolation is the last thing you need right now...