|01-13-2009, 01:43 PM||#1|
Join Date: Apr 2008
Doing The Footwork & Having Faith....John L.
Doing the footwork and having faith
I remember those first days. I was frightened, and I had no idea what to expect. I had no hope that I could stay clean. Everything seemed so bleak. I kept my coat on and stayed near the door, ready to flee at any moment.
Everyone told me to keep coming back. I didn't understand why they were smiling. I didn't think I was going to stay, even though I wanted to. I just didn't trust myself. My track record proved that I could make promises, but I never was able to keep them.
I got a sponsor. He told me I could do it. I started making friends, and I listened. I heard about faith. They told me to develop some, to just believe.
As the days went by, a miracle happened. I started to smile. The compulsion to use had been lifted. This faith thing wasn't so bad, I thought. I only had a little, but it seemed to be enough. Each day I stayed clean, my faith got stronger. Time went by. I worked the steps. I read the literature. I did service. I used my sponsor.
Now, over fours years later, I must rely on what I learned in those early days. I must have faith and believe today just as I did then.
I've been out of work for more than a month. I'm putting in the footwork, believing that my HP is taking care of me. I left my last job after months of prayer and meditation. It had become very abusive there. I was afraid of leaving, but I had to. I left, and now I am looking for a new job. My HP has taken care of me so far, and I know it will continue to if I do the footwork.
Recovery has taught me that life happens, and so do problems. My first ninety days taught me to have faith and pray. NA's only promise has been fulfilled in my life. Freedom from active addiction is just the beginning. All I need to do is show up, stay clean, and believe. Everything else will follow.
John L, New York
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