|01-15-2009, 01:19 PM||#1|
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Canada.One month a year either in Smyrna Ga,or Franklin louisiana
What does 13 stepping someone mean?
13th Step! WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN?
This article is not based of NA literature or the opinion of
NA as a whole. It is based on my experience, strength and
hope of being around the fellowship for nearly 5 decades.
What is the 13th step? It is the taking advantage of
somebody who is vulnerable and their thinking has not
stabilized. The person being taken advantage of is not
necessarily a newcomer. It could be somebody who has
been around for a while and emotionally is not stable,
lonely, wanting to be accepted and the need to feel
Who is the person who 13th steps? It is a person, male or
female who motives is to take advantage of someone for
their personal gain. That advantage could be sex,
financial, or emotional (spiritual vampire).
It is the responsibility of the fellowship or the group in a
particular area to stop 13th step predators. With that said
it is important not to act unless you know all the facts.
Example there was a person in the South Broward area
that befriended a newcomer. His motives were to strictly
help. People in the fellowship seeing them together on a
regular basis began to accuse this person of 13th stepping
the newcomer. What they didn't know was that this
person’s husband had asked the individual to help his wife
and go to meetings with her. The women in the fellowship
automatically assumed that he was 13th stepping her and
began warning this woman about this man. Being a newcomer
and not understanding what 13th stepping was and she was
with him as a friend and helper she could not understand why
the women continuously warned her about her friend. This is a
case where damage was caused to the man because people
did not get all the facts. We must protect our newcomers and
members who are not emotionally stable from predators but at
the same time we must have all the facts otherwise we become
the problem. It is our responsibility to get the facts then act or
not act. Predators’ have the right to recover in NA but not act
One last thought about 13th stepping. Is a relationship the
same as 13th stepping? No its not. Although it is recommended
that new people stay out of a relationship for the first year it
does sometimes happen. If the two people in the relationship
motives are genuine and beyond sex, financial gain or control it
is not 13th stepping. But generally those relationships don't
work because both or one of them don't really know who they
are yet or what they really want. Sometimes they work but
mostly not. That is why it is suggested stay out of a relationship
for the first year. Even couples who are married when they
come often it doesn’t work out because they get clean and find
out who they are and what they want out of life realize they are
married to a stranger. In loving service
If I am not the problem....
then there is no solution...