Survivor Guilt...M.B.

[clean42day]

Survivor Guilt


We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery
program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about
ourselves.

Then it hits. Guilt.

Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may
feel guilty about those we've left behind, those not recovering, those
still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.

We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We
may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone
call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us.
And we feel pulled into their pain.

How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in
misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite
their circumstances? Yes, we can.

And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward
anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot
make them recover. We cannot make them happy.

We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the
answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not
our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.

We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without
guilt.....M.B.