FEELINGS

[BIG AL]

I was thinking mike today at work and it occured to me that i have a diffficult time matching my feeling or emotions with my thinking.Maybe I dont know how to recognize my feeling or tell them apart wich could explain some of my insecurities and fears and some of my of the wall thinkking when i get lonely angry or hurt.does this make any sense at all or am i just crazy and thinkking to much.Some times I spend alot of time at work wich means I can go days without seeing wife kids (family) and feel lonely,isolated,and general at times not needed.Mostly becouse while im gone life seems to go on without me just as if i were there.But instead of being happy or looking forward to the times I will have or have had.I tend to get confrontational and feel like i am not reallt needed.Wich is why it came to me maybe my thinking is all wrong that I am loved,missed and very important.Just that I dont really think that way.But maybe with some practice of some dif ways of thinking and dealling with emotins or feeling i can change my outlook and be better husband,dad,employer.Or am i just a nut very interested in what you think

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Your choice. You can believe:

Originally Posted by BIG AL

...i am not really needed...

Or you can believe:

Originally Posted by BIG AL

...I am loved,missed and very important.

Which will serve you better?

Originally Posted by BIG AL

...I dont really think that way...But maybe with some practice of some dif ways of thinking and dealling with emotins or feeling i can change my outlook and be better husband,dad,employer.

No MAYBE about it! That's exactly what you are doing!

[Chewi]

Feelings are not fact. My mind is like a bad neighborhood, I should never go there alone! I have to push through the negative feelings by getting rid of the negative thoughts. You can control what you think about--you don't have to dwell on the negatives. Sharing with someone as you did above is great to get you back on track. When we learn to focus on the positives and control our emotions, we stay a lot farther away from picking up! God bless!

[flick]

Some times I spend alot of time at work wich means I can go days without seeing wife kids (family) and feel lonely,isolated,and general at times not needed.Mostly becouse while im gone life seems to go on without me just as if i were there.

hi, I'd like to offer some thoughts from my perspective to give you food for thought; my partner works away on the mines, 9 days away/5 home (used to be 3 weeks away/1 week home).....anyway you mention life going on without you as if you were there.....I used to get very emotionally messed up when my partner was away; life didn't feel "normal"....through recovery I have slowly learnt to "live and enjoy life" while he's away, the kids go to school, I'm at home with our young one and I take care of us much as I can here at home...."we need to live life as normally as possible"....the kids need the stability of normality as do I.

This doesn't mean that I don't miss my man, it doesn't mean I don't wish he were home with me, especially at night time to curl up with....it just means I too have to live not merely exist!!!

But instead of being happy or looking forward to the times I will have or have had.I tend to get confrontational and feel like i am not reallt needed.

boy oh boy can I relate to this; I used to waste a whole lot of time being miserable when he wasn't home, doing everything I could to make him miserable along with me.....my worst times were the day before he was due to fly back to work....maaaan I was confrontational...did my best efforts to make things as uncomfortable as I could...very often resulting in major arguments......I believe it's called sabotage....gave me reason to be peeved at him for going away and leaving me at home.....I would suggest it could be the same for you in reverse...the guilt you carry at having to be away from your family so much you are possibly transferring by way of confrontation ???? food for thought anyway.

Thank's for letting me share with you.

btw I'd say it's highly likely that you are missed very much by your family, and loved loads....a wee suggestion, be carfeul about the confrontational, we can push away the ones we love with that sort of behaviour....speaking from experience......

I would focus on the love you receive when you are with the family, carry it close to your heart; it's a very precious gift!!!! God Bless.

[paulm]

Thanks, Al. You're not alone in that. remember what the say about feelings of self loathing or self pity will disappear; this sounds like you're feeling less than and not equal to. I can relate to that. It's been pointed out that we are not our thoughts; however we do have control over what we feed ourselves too, so be accountable for that. Believe you're worthy and loved; and that you deserve to be. (Sorry for the platitude), but eventually good stuff in = good stuff out.