Funny commandments of self esteem

[serenity3]

The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem

..1] Thou shalt not consort with people who make thee feel bad about thyself.

..2] Thou shalt cease trying to make sense of crazy behaviour.

..3] Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.

..4] Trust thy body all the days of thy life [Thy mind doth fornicate with thee].

..5] Thou hast permission at all times to say "NO", to change thy mind, and to express thy true feelings.

..6] What is not right for thee is not right for thy brethern.

..7] Thou shalt not give beyond thine own capacity.

..8] What thy brethern think of thee mattereth naught.

..9] Wherever thou art, therein also is the party.

10] Thou shalt sing thine own praises all the days of thy life.

[thyme]

this made my day...THANKS!!!

[annalittlebit]

This is GREAT---Thanks Sooooo Much!!!!!!!!!!

[Booky]

Originally Posted by serenity3

The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem

..3] Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.

That is fundamentally bigoted.

Remember the 12th Step and lets respect and help those more dysfunctional then our self.

And helping others is a big way of improving our own self esteem.

Originally Posted by serenity3

..8] What thy brethern think of thee mattereth naught.

Yes it does matter.

Some times other people are right and some times others are wrong, but we do need to consider the opinions of our brethern.

[notsure]

oh booky, I have had so much trouble in my life through helping others! Now I think it was almost arrogant of me to think I could! I didn't help them. I put my hand out and they pulled me down. I didn't have the strength to pull them up. I agree with respecting everybody and their choices, but it's better to associate with people who make you feel good and lift you up a bit. We are all vulnerable, and associating with people who are dwelling in the dark side can take you over to it as well. The opinions of others do matter, of course, but unless they have a really good argument that sways you into thinking differently, I think it's always better to believe in your own gut feelings.
I think I've been burned bad - once I would have agreed with you, but being helping others and caring too much what others think has brought a lot of pain into my life!

[notsure]

sorry, you don't even know me! I'm just reading through everything and responding at random. this just hit a cord with me!

[flick]

..3] Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.

awesome humour...I love it!! I can't keep company with anyone more dysfunctional than myself...I'm the best on at it!!..of course!! LMBO

[Booky]

Originally Posted by serenity3

..3] Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.

Originally Posted by notsure

oh booky, I have had so much trouble in my life through helping others! Now I think it was almost arrogant of me to think I could! I didn't help them. I put my hand out and they pulled me down. I didn't have the strength to pull them up. I agree with respecting everybody and their choices, but it's better to associate with people who make you feel good and lift you up a bit. We are all vulnerable, and associating with people who are dwelling in the dark side can take you over to it as well. The opinions of others do matter, of course, but unless they have a really good argument that sways you into thinking differently, I think it's always better to believe in your own gut feelings.
I think I've been burned bad - once I would have agreed with you, but being helping others and caring too much what others think has brought a lot of pain into my life!

It seems to me that you and that first post is getting "dysfunctional" mixed up with "abuser" and that is where our communications break down.

It is easy to see a mean hateful drunk that abuses their children as being "dysfunctional" and there is some truth in that, but a person that abuses others is called an "abuser" and not dysfunctional.

We do not want to keep company with an abuser, and we must not try to help (enable) an abuser, and some times we need to help get the abusers put into prison where they will be separated from society.

I come from a large family, and I am the 6th of 12 siblings, and I am the only one that has actively worked on the codependency in my family, and as a result now my 11 other siblings are far more dysfunctional then I am now.

So I try to reach out to my dysfunctional siblings and it is they that try NOT to keep any company with me.

In an CoDA meeting it is the strong that help to support the weak.

In an AA group those sober many years are the ones that seek to keep the company with the new person that walks in still smelling of alcohol.

I count it as one of my greatest of blessings that in my life there were a few other people that did keep company with the nasty dysfunctional me.

[notsure]

sorry booky - no intention to offend. I actually felt sad when I read that because I guess I am burned at the moment. I am also dysfunctional in my own way and am also grateful for the people that accept me as I am as I do them. But I guess I have found it really hard to separate myself from my ex-partner and ex-best friend, two of the people I have loved most in my life, but I know I have to. They both have active and strong addictions nowadays and I did try to help for years until I suddenly realised that neither of them want to stop. And with that realisation came the sorrow of knowing that I'd lost them maybe for good.
I can't stand by and watch someone I love destroy themselves, and I can't help when someone doesn't want my help. I would never go through that again. If anyone I knew got into trouble with drugs/alcohol now I'd have to say "see me when you've gotten sick of it". It hurts to much.
I felt sad because I used to feel like you, I suppose, but it all became kind of serious and horribly painful. I'm a little scared of getting too close to anybody now, and I wouldn't do what I did with them again.
that's what I was meaning.

[serenity3]

healthy boundaries....its fun