healing..we are doing the right things xxx

[serenity3]

From a website, glad to know we are doing the right things.

WHAT IS MEANT BY THE TERM SURVIVOR OF CHILD ABUSE/neglect?
Being an adult survivor of child abuse means that you or someone your care about endured the pain of child abuse and survived it. Unfortunately, the survival tactics used to cope with the abuse can later get in the way of productive and satisfying adult lives. Dr. Gannon lists some of the "symptoms" of "survivors syndrome":

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Relationship Problems--fighting, blaming, mistrusting, poor communication skills and difficulty with intimacy.

* Low Self Esteem--self doubt, self blame, shame.

* Self Sabotage--self destructive or self mutilating behavior.

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Sexual Problems--sexual inhibition or promiscuity, flashbacks to abusive experiences during sexual contact, inability to achieve orgasm, pain or numbing during intimacy.

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Symptoms of Trauma--feelings of fear, panic, agitation, anxiety, numbing of bodily areas, nightmares, multiple personalities, feelings of being disconnected from body.

*
Physical Ailments--includes psychosomatic illnesses, stomachaches, eating disorders, skin disorders, asthma, headaches and phobias.

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Social Alienation--feeling different from others, not accepted, stigmatized.

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Difficulty in Handling Feelings--trouble in recognizing, managing and appropriately expressing feelings.

CAN ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILD ABUSE OVERCOME THIS SYNDROME?
Yes, it is possible for survivors to recover from the abuse syndrome. The recovery process can be a difficult one. The road to a healthy resolution of an abusive childhood involves deep self exploration and sometimes painful recollection of past events and people.


WHERE TO BEGIN?
Recovery is very difficult to achieve by yourself. There a variety of sources to which you may turn for help:

Reading about abuse survival is a helpful and gentle way for you to begin to explore your own experience. Some books to look at (many are available in the Center library and at most large bookstores): Soul Survivors by J. Patrick Gannon, Ph.D.; The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Abuse by Bassie and Davis; There is a Way Out by Richard Yao.

Self Help Groups are a good place to start and provide a good support system for someone going through the self exploration process involved in recovery. Hearing others recount their experiences of abuse will not only validate your own feelings (which may be marked by confusion), but will give you a springboard for resolving some of the conflicts these feelings evoke: Children of Alcoholics: (800) 359-2623; Incest Survivors Anonymous: (800) 422-4453; St. Vincent's Hospital Rape & Incest Crisis Program: (212) 604-8068.

Counseling may be a more comfortable mode for you to explore the past. A counselor can lead you through the fear, pain and confusion of your abusive experience and guide you supportively along the path of recovery.

So strange that now I am doing these things almost instinctively...learning to love myself.