My story - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 11:25 AM

Hi all.. here is my recovery story.. part I....

My name is Jeff and I am a very grateful recovering alcoholic. I can recall years ago having had been drinking for some time and not feeling good I was walking my dog, Picabo, and I thought to myself that if I keep this up I would end up in AA. How prophetic a thought.

I started out like any 'normal' drinker. I would just have one every now and then with dinner when I would go out to dinner with my family, Mom and Dad. I'm an only child like many other AA members. God I never thought that booze would be an issue.. just would drink like my parents and that would be it. My parents were social drinkers and I thought that would be for me as well.

Well, when I moved in on my own it was over.. I got a six pack of cheep beer and I drank it.. and really liked it. More than I should have. Then I moved on to vodka.. I like screwdrivers so that was the thing for me. I would make a few each night after work. OH keep in mind I never drank in college. None.. just a few when I would go out to dinner with my parents. Like one **** screwdriver! Not that much huh?? I thought I was doing fine!! NOT! Back to subject.. so a few drinks when I was working but not that much.. but one day I had a very bad day at work. Seems someone pissed me off and I had a few drinks... then the next day I just left out the OJ.. then the next day no ice.. then the next day no glass. See the progression. From a few beers to a few screwdrivers and then lots of vodka, straight out of the bottle! Hell, with the stress I was under I deserved it .. didn't I?? I needed sleep and it helped me sleep.. good huh?? Speed up a bit and now I've moved back to New Jersey from Texas. I attended the University of Texas in Austin. Loved it and I got a 3.4 GPA when I was there! Had fun and loved going to school.. computer programming major and Eco minor.

So life in jersey was fine.. still could not sleep so I got a med to help that but I mixed it with vodka. Not good but I really slept at night! I then move to CT with my Mom and Dad and worked in Hartford CT. Work was very stressful and I really drank. Lots of Jack and beer. The good beer … not cheap ****! I was making lots of money so I got good beer from the package store. Anchor Steam and Sam Addams! Life was OK but no gf and all I had was my dog Picabo. A great tri color rough collie. I just never seemed to fit in with the groups at my job.. then the **** really hit the fan.. both of my parents died in a span of five months. I really stared to hit the bottle.. lost a job and found a job consulting. Like others I could not work with others but I could just about deal with ME!! Hell, having a job was a luxury.. I just wanted to drink my life away.. booze and bonzes were my combination and I loved IT! I loved my xanax and it just got me by.. 3 or 4 a day.. 18 or so beers. Oh and some JD.. not that much huh??

So one day I met a gal on line and I decided to move down to VA to be with her.. just to start over and get rid of the past.. END PART I..

Peace out
Jeff

*yukonm* · 02-02-2009, 11:30 AM

Thank you for sharing your story...looking forward to the rest!!

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 11:47 AM

Part II..

Ok.. so here I am in VA.. not drinking but feeling like ****. Can't get the xanax and just going through a rough time. Going cold turkey on that stuff is rough and can kill you, from what I was told later on. Work sucked because I was now doing factory work and I was running a CNC machine to cut out parts for furniture. I did a good job as usual but I just hated it! Long hard day.. lots of heavy wood to lift all day and you would cut yourself to puces!

My GF/Finance at the time just never seemed to care that much about me at times and I felt alone. I did find a job programming computers but it was just hell being alone in a strange town. So I lose that job due to drinking.. God a twelve pack a day will do that to ya!

SO I'm back with the GF but things are not good and I get kicked out.. I move into my own apartment and I get a job building staple guns at a local factory. Good job and I do very well. Still drinking but I can do the work and still drink. I move from second to first shift and make some good friends there. Some know me from my GF and I get along with them very well. Heck, I made friends with a guy who ends up being my best friend on earth! But I was still empty. I try going out with a gal that I worked with but I just was not her type... I could have been but no. It sucked. Still drinking and the factory closes. The jobs went to Jersey and I was out of work. Drank a case of beer a day and was just killing myself.

One night I just had it.. I decided to get help.. I called the AA hot line in the AM and it was disconnected! WTF?? Then I call the mental health group in town and they tell me to come down. SO I venter down there and they take me into the back to talk to me. It's run by the state of VA and I talk to some gal for a while. She takes a breath test..two times. I told her I didn't have a drink in like 6 hours. My bac was .2!! After 6 hours it still was .2!! ****!!

They inform me that I can't leave and take the keys to my car. Then they put me under a temp detention order and I'm off to the hospital to detox. I wait in an office with a therapist and he talks to me while I wait. They want to make sure I don't go into DT's. So Here I am in the hospital.. a good one from what I was told. They give me a med for the shakes and I got to finally eat dinner!! PASTA! YUM!! First good food in me for days! 7 days there and then off to a state hospital. I stay there 7 more days and attend lots of AA meetings and other meetings. I got about 21 meetings in 7 days.. but they were good for me. In the first hospital I went to about the same number of meetings... just lots of meetings in a short period of time.

END OF PART II

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 01:05 PM

Part II

Well Lets speed this up a bit.. I move into a shelter because I have no place to live.. but I get a job running a cnc machine and it's a good job. I make good money and get a place of my own again. Stay sober and go to meetings but still not doing great. On meds to help my depression but it's just not doing the trick. Then I start to drink again and I lose my place and I'm back in the shelter. This time they kick me out and I end up in a Salvation Army in TN. IN and out in hospitals for months and not finding work or a place to live. I end up in Knoxville TN in a shelter there and it sucks. Lots of crime and drug use. But I get a good dr who determines that I'm bi-polar and lots of other stuff but mainly bi-polar. The meds sort of help but I just can't get by. The day center that I go to closes and I end up in **** again. But this time a new group from Oak Ridge takes over and moves me to a house in Oak Ridge and they help me get a house to live in and I get disability after 3 tries. I had to get a lawyer but I get on disability. They thought I was malingering but I was not and the judge determines that I deserve disability, thank GOD!

So, today I have a duplex and I have disability.. things are OK but I need to get a new sponsor soon. I don't go to as many meetings as I should but I'm going to get going again soon. I have a good back pay check and I get the stuff I lost back.. TV and other stuff. Oh and I got my penguin collection back. Opus from Bloom County is my fav and I have 9 of them!! LOL

I'll post of pic of them asap...

Well that's it for now
Peace out
Jeff F

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 01:06 PM

Me and Picabo years ago.

Jeff F

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 01:08 PM

My Penguin family!!

Jeff F

jeff_f · 02-02-2009, 01:09 PM

Jeff F

Chewi · 02-02-2009, 03:00 PM

Thanks so much, Jeff, for sharing your story. Please stick with it, one day at a time; it does get better--look around in the rooms at the happy people who have sober time in--they are the proof!!!
Your dog is beautious!!! I am a dog nut--have two German Shepherds.
Your penguins are great, too--coolio!
Keep coming back!

*thereishope* · 02-02-2009, 04:32 PM

Yes thankyou so very much for sharing your story with us. You know what everythings going to be ok.
As i was reading your story a song popped into my head that i think you will like.
Music helps me so very much and helps get me through ALOT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRBSK...e=channel_page

*thereishope* · 02-02-2009, 04:37 PM

Oops i forgot to say.....i like the pics too. Your picabo is beautiful

02-02-2009, 11:25 AM	#1
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	My story Hi all.. here is my recovery story.. part I.... My name is Jeff and I am a very grateful recovering alcoholic. I can recall years ago having had been drinking for some time and not feeling good I was walking my dog, Picabo, and I thought to myself that if I keep this up I would end up in AA. How prophetic a thought. I started out like any 'normal' drinker. I would just have one every now and then with dinner when I would go out to dinner with my family, Mom and Dad. I'm an only child like many other AA members. God I never thought that booze would be an issue.. just would drink like my parents and that would be it. My parents were social drinkers and I thought that would be for me as well. Well, when I moved in on my own it was over.. I got a six pack of cheep beer and I drank it.. and really liked it. More than I should have. Then I moved on to vodka.. I like screwdrivers so that was the thing for me. I would make a few each night after work. OH keep in mind I never drank in college. None.. just a few when I would go out to dinner with my parents. Like one ** screwdriver! Not that much huh?? I thought I was doing fine!! NOT! Back to subject.. so a few drinks when I was working but not that much.. but one day I had a very bad day at work. Seems someone pissed me off and I had a few drinks... then the next day I just left out the OJ.. then the next day no ice.. then the next day no glass. See the progression. From a few beers to a few screwdrivers and then lots of vodka, straight out of the bottle! Hell, with the stress I was under I deserved it .. didn't I?? I needed sleep and it helped me sleep.. good huh?? Speed up a bit and now I've moved back to New Jersey from Texas. I attended the University of Texas in Austin. Loved it and I got a 3.4 GPA when I was there! Had fun and loved going to school.. computer programming major and Eco minor. So life in jersey was fine.. still could not sleep so I got a med to help that but I mixed it with vodka. Not good but I really slept at night! I then move to CT with my Mom and Dad and worked in Hartford CT. Work was very stressful and I really drank. Lots of Jack and beer. The good beer … not cheap ! I was making lots of money so I got good beer from the package store. Anchor Steam and Sam Addams! Life was OK but no gf and all I had was my dog Picabo. A great tri color rough collie. I just never seemed to fit in with the groups at my job.. then the really hit the fan.. both of my parents died in a span of five months. I really stared to hit the bottle.. lost a job and found a job consulting. Like others I could not work with others but I could just about deal with ME!! Hell, having a job was a luxury.. I just wanted to drink my life away.. booze and bonzes were my combination and I loved IT! I loved my xanax and it just got me by.. 3 or 4 a day.. 18 or so beers. Oh and some JD.. not that much huh?? So one day I met a gal on line and I decided to move down to VA to be with her.. just to start over and get rid of the past.. END PART I.. Peace out Jeff __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.."** - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 11:47 AM	#3
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	Part II.. Ok.. so here I am in VA.. not drinking but feeling like **. Can't get the xanax and just going through a rough time. Going cold turkey on that stuff is rough and can kill you, from what I was told later on. Work sucked because I was now doing factory work and I was running a CNC machine to cut out parts for furniture. I did a good job as usual but I just hated it! Long hard day.. lots of heavy wood to lift all day and you would cut yourself to puces! My GF/Finance at the time just never seemed to care that much about me at times and I felt alone. I did find a job programming computers but it was just hell being alone in a strange town. So I lose that job due to drinking.. God a twelve pack a day will do that to ya! SO I'm back with the GF but things are not good and I get kicked out.. I move into my own apartment and I get a job building staple guns at a local factory. Good job and I do very well. Still drinking but I can do the work and still drink. I move from second to first shift and make some good friends there. Some know me from my GF and I get along with them very well. Heck, I made friends with a guy who ends up being my best friend on earth! But I was still empty. I try going out with a gal that I worked with but I just was not her type... I could have been but no. It sucked. Still drinking and the factory closes. The jobs went to Jersey and I was out of work. Drank a case of beer a day and was just killing myself. One night I just had it.. I decided to get help.. I called the AA hot line in the AM and it was disconnected! WTF?? Then I call the mental health group in town and they tell me to come down. SO I venter down there and they take me into the back to talk to me. It's run by the state of VA and I talk to some gal for a while. She takes a breath test..two times. I told her I didn't have a drink in like 6 hours. My bac was .2!! After 6 hours it still was .2!! !! They inform me that I can't leave and take the keys to my car. Then they put me under a temp detention order and I'm off to the hospital to detox. I wait in an office with a therapist and he talks to me while I wait. They want to make sure I don't go into DT's. So Here I am in the hospital.. a good one from what I was told. They give me a med for the shakes and I got to finally eat dinner!! PASTA! YUM!! First good food in me for days! 7 days there and then off to a state hospital. I stay there 7 more days and attend lots of AA meetings and other meetings. I got about 21 meetings in 7 days.. but they were good for me. In the first hospital I went to about the same number of meetings... just lots of meetings in a short period of time. END OF PART II __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.."** - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 01:05 PM	#4
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	Part II Well Lets speed this up a bit.. I move into a shelter because I have no place to live.. but I get a job running a cnc machine and it's a good job. I make good money and get a place of my own again. Stay sober and go to meetings but still not doing great. On meds to help my depression but it's just not doing the trick. Then I start to drink again and I lose my place and I'm back in the shelter. This time they kick me out and I end up in a Salvation Army in TN. IN and out in hospitals for months and not finding work or a place to live. I end up in Knoxville TN in a shelter there and it sucks. Lots of crime and drug use. But I get a good dr who determines that I'm bi-polar and lots of other stuff but mainly bi-polar. The meds sort of help but I just can't get by. The day center that I go to closes and I end up in ** again. But this time a new group from Oak Ridge takes over and moves me to a house in Oak Ridge and they help me get a house to live in and I get disability after 3 tries. I had to get a lawyer but I get on disability. They thought I was malingering but I was not and the judge determines that I deserve disability, thank GOD! So, today I have a duplex and I have disability.. things are OK but I need to get a new sponsor soon. I don't go to as many meetings as I should but I'm going to get going again soon. I have a good back pay check and I get the stuff I lost back.. TV and other stuff. Oh and I got my penguin collection back. Opus from Bloom County is my fav and I have 9 of them!! LOL I'll post of pic of them asap... Well that's it for now Peace out Jeff F __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.."** - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 01:06 PM	#5
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	Me and Picabo years ago. Jeff F __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.." - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 01:08 PM	#6
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	My Penguin family!! Jeff F __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.." - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 11:30 AM	#2
yukonm Community Greeter Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,116	Thank you for sharing your story...looking forward to the rest!!

02-02-2009, 01:09 PM	#7
jeff_f CRF Bunny guy!! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oak Ridge TN, USA Posts: 280	Jeff F __________________ "I have to go home.. You are home.." - Almost Famous

02-02-2009, 03:00 PM	#8
Chewi Devoted Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Pittsburgh area Posts: 407	Thanks so much, Jeff, for sharing your story. Please stick with it, one day at a time; it does get better--look around in the rooms at the happy people who have sober time in--they are the proof!!! Your dog is beautious!!! I am a dog nut--have two German Shepherds. Your penguins are great, too--coolio! Keep coming back!

02-02-2009, 04:37 PM	#10
thereishope Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: utah Posts: 4,594	Oops i forgot to say.....i like the pics too. Your picabo is beautiful __________________

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