I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

*janbear* · 02-11-2009, 12:09 AM

I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance

With a broken leg, there is a cast. With an appendicitis, there's a bandage and a scar. With my dual disorder, there is no visible wound. So people often don't understand my pain and symptoms-for example, anxiety, depression, weight changes, or fatigue. They may not consider them real or legitimate.

Right now I am learning a critical lesson: I cannot change the way other people think or act. Fortunately, I can still get what I deeply need-certainly not from everybody, and from just anybody-but from my support group (a) understanding and acceptance of who I am; (b) validation of my problems; and (c) support for my recovery.

Today I will pray to accept myself and pray to accept the people who don't accept me.

From:Today I Will Do One Thing

*flick* · 02-11-2009, 04:58 PM

Wow do I need to hear this right now....one of the defects of character of being a Borderline is acting on our emotions, high or low...human nature is to feel then think, we borderlines feel and act all too often it gets me into trouble and I'm sooooo tired of being punished for that. Another thing is that our emotions are very strong, wer'e very passionate about things, and our highs and lows like that of someone with bi-polar can be quite extreme....ok granted I accept that I'm probably a very difficult person to live with at times, but hey you want to love the highs in me you gotta take the lows, with some compassion and forgiveness...yep, accept me the way I am....I've only recently begun DBT Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which was specifically designed for Borderlines, just wish my man would cease punishing me for what he percives as me just being a B***H!! I don't think a lot of the time before opening my mouth, I do say what I'm feeling; "You'd think you'd learn by now, and hey; the consequences of your actions"....I hear it time and again....

Quote:

Today I will pray to accept myself and pray to accept the people who don't accept me.

shrubbery · 02-12-2009, 02:30 AM

Forgiveness ... when my sponsee asked what I wanted for the last holiday that is what I asked for ... from me ... about me... to me... to others.

This next holiday when I seek out something to give up I am pondering giving being difficult (in all its varieties)

Peace

stuck · 05-21-2009, 01:15 PM

it may sound trite, but acceptance begins within you ...

seeking validation from others won't work any better than seeking
happiness from outside of yourself ...

my 'advice' is simply stop looking for their acceptance and start expressing
what you are feeling to others in a way that they can understand ...

most people are so inundated with the 'disease of the week' that they
have no understanding or patience for what isn't obvious ... and why
should they? Most people have enough of their own stuff to deal with
that 'our' stuff is more than they care to handle.

I do what I can when I can and when I can't then I don't ... that's all
anyone needs to know about me, you and the rest of the world.

BIG AL · 05-21-2009, 07:30 PM

I think this is why I drakbecouse I didnt think I was goodenough something wrong with me.When I took my first drint wasike a light cae o.I found the key to life and could be who you wted me to be or didnt care if you didnt like me.either way.What a good thing to bring up.Most time I ay to heck with them.But deep down want everyone to like me or think I am the best,

02-11-2009, 12:09 AM	#1
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,175	I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance With a broken leg, there is a cast. With an appendicitis, there's a bandage and a scar. With my dual disorder, there is no visible wound. So people often don't understand my pain and symptoms-for example, anxiety, depression, weight changes, or fatigue. They may not consider them real or legitimate. Right now I am learning a critical lesson: I cannot change the way other people think or act. Fortunately, I can still get what I deeply need-certainly not from everybody, and from just anybody-but from my support group (a) understanding and acceptance of who I am; (b) validation of my problems; and (c) support for my recovery. Today I will pray to accept myself and pray to accept the people who don't accept me. From:Today I Will Do One Thing __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

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02-12-2009, 02:30 AM	#3
shrubbery not my own sponsor Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pittsburgh PA Posts: 56	Forgiveness ... when my sponsee asked what I wanted for the last holiday that is what I asked for ... from me ... about me... to me... to others. This next holiday when I seek out something to give up I am pondering giving being difficult (in all its varieties) Peace

05-21-2009, 01:15 PM	#4
stuck Newcomer Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3	it may sound trite, but acceptance begins within you ... seeking validation from others won't work any better than seeking happiness from outside of yourself ... my 'advice' is simply stop looking for their acceptance and start expressing what you are feeling to others in a way that they can understand ... most people are so inundated with the 'disease of the week' that they have no understanding or patience for what isn't obvious ... and why should they? Most people have enough of their own stuff to deal with that 'our' stuff is more than they care to handle. I do what I can when I can and when I can't then I don't ... that's all anyone needs to know about me, you and the rest of the world.

05-21-2009, 07:30 PM	#5
BIG AL Devoted Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Corpus Christi Texas Posts: 360	I think this is why I drakbecouse I didnt think I was goodenough something wrong with me.When I took my first drint wasike a light cae o.I found the key to life and could be who you wted me to be or didnt care if you didnt like me.either way.What a good thing to bring up.Most time I ay to heck with them.But deep down want everyone to like me or think I am the best,