Can anyone help with some ...helpful info'?

[soulman]

Hi all,

I am a member of AA. Why. Beacause I want to keep having faith and knowing that there is a better life without that poweres sucking liquid called alcohol (and other drugs). I have done many, many things that have made me feel alive (that i certainly didn't do ......basically didn't do anything.......when I was "performing) Sober for 15 years. Anyway, I have become a lot more honest about my co dependency since becoming more honest and aware. Its a Good thing being aware, however I would like to get some support to deal with this. Deal with it in the sense that I would like to gain some strategies to help myself to ultimately be able to set boundaries, detach etc and ....take that step to believe that i can ..and deserve to be in a healthy relationship.

I'm writing this thread to:
1. connect with anyone else who I can share with and
2. If someone can point me towards any good codependency forums nad resources.

Its a Start eh. Any help and support to empower myself :-) would be mighty appreciated. Yours Dave Fellow....Human being (wanting to be a Human Doer :-)

[geoff 1030]

Even though I am fairly new at this myself I would be happy to share with you what I have experienced so far. If nothing else I can listen and maybe we can help each other.

I too struggle with believing that I deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship. I also share the addictive thinking, though alcohol has never been my symptom.

Firstly, if you haven't already, try an Al Anon meeting. There are many dual members in my area and I am always happy to see them at meetings. So many times I gain some wonderful insight into the A in my life from their shares. Secondly, Al Anon is where I am learning so much about detachment and boundries.

Sadly I waited to long to go. My wife is now nearing 10 months in recovery and when she began to change I didn't. I fell right back into the trap of thinking I deserved more of her. For fourteen years I fought tooth and nail to try to control her drinking and force her to be a bigger part of our life, of our family. I made every mistake in the book, in several books for that matter.

I still fall back into that thinking from time to time. Most times I see it coming now. We are currently , still living under the same roof, yet living totaly seperate lives. I wouldn't recomend this situation to anyone, as it can be a very painful, and difficult situation. I have come to accept that this is how things are supposed to be right now. This is how we will each gain what we need to learn.

If you care to know more or want to share your situation I am happy to help. There are also some great posts at the Coda on line site, as the codependcy forum here is sometimes under occupied. I spend a lot of time here on this site mostly due to the fact I need both. Reading in any 12 step forum helps me daily.

[Booky]

Originally Posted by soulman

Hi all,


I'm writing this thread to:
1. connect with anyone else who I can share with and
2. If someone can point me towards any good codependency forums nad resources.

Its a Start eh.

Well do not totally leave this Cyber Forum here because this one has lots of info and help too.

I post here, and I go to this other Forum too = www.DailyStrength.org

or directly about codependency here =
http://dailystrength.org/c/Codependency/support-group

And that is a BIG website so it has online AA groups and many other support groups too.