I sat at Temptation’s table; I hadn’t had enough...

[Charlie G]

I sat at Temptation’s table; I hadn’t had enough,
thinking “This is just too easy, and I am just too tough.”
By Charlie G



You could always find me in a poker tourney;
Before I started ‘It’s all in the JOURNEY.
So I’m using poker here as a metaphor;
Cause I still love the game, just not as before.

********************************
Easy does it; keep it simple;
I’d agree and show a dimple.
“Just don’t pick up” this I get;
While I think of one more hit.
I‘ve learned my lesson - no more pain;
While glancing at the old fast lane.
I felt time was slipping like glassed in sand;
So I enter the casino for one last hand.
It’s just for fun, I mouthed my lips;
As the dealer gave me a stack of chips.
Spotting – JUST ONE MORE - I sit at the table;
Because addict & alky is still my label.
Your lot in life is God playing poker;
We’re all dealt a hand; but some get a joker.
I looked at my chips, then at the others;
Staring at husbands & wives, brothers and mothers.
A pusher is dealing; don’t they mean the same?
Crack, smack or liquor; he’ll deal any game.
With the pot full of temptation, I go all in with a bluff;
Thinking, ‘This is just too easy, and I am just too tough.’
Then somebody calls, as my head rises in fear;
I look up at myself, when I only drank beer.
Someone else calls: it’s me taking that first toke;
Then another pushes all in; it’s when I first started coke.
Somebody sits down and says, “Hello boys, I’m back!”
I look at me once again, when I first started crack.
Still another one bets, I see it’s me starting meth;
And I notice everyone here has the resemblance of death.
All the faces of family, that I thought I had seen;
Were really just me, before I became a dope fiend.
Then the pusher deals the flop, and turns up the first 3;
There’s nothing even close, to what he’s dealt to me.
Meth me’s lighter ain’t working, so he starts to throw a fit;
While coke me is laughing, and takes another hit.
The pusher deals the turn, this is card number four;
Still nothing there for me, as I start to eye the door.
Me with a beer is leering, as me toking looks sound asleep;
Sitting so close to my old me’s - I see, “What you sow, you shall reap.”
Finally the last card is turned up, this one is what’s called the river;
I’ve lost my bet with temptation, and inside my soul starts to quiver.
Now all my old me’s are smiling, and staring directly at me;
I stand up and shout.” Stay away! I’m not who I used to be!”
The me’s of my past are laughing, “Come on, it’s going to be fun.”
“You played with temptation and lost; it’s time to start a new run.”
I look for a way to escape me, my eyes again towards the door;
But you can’t run away from yourself; I know – I’ve tried it before.
So I’d have to deal with my me’s - and me not wanting to leave;
When suddenly I remember – I’ve got an ace up my sleeve!
With temptation piled high on the table, my recovery had started to cower;
But then I stopped being afraid - when I remembered my Higher Power!
Now here’s a little secret, when temptation pops out of the blue;
And no matter what comes out of your mouth, inside you know that it’s true.
Either you believe in a Higher Power, or it means that you’re here all alone;
You can always call your friends, if they happen to answer the phone.
But when your present meets the past, when you run into the gang;
And temptation starts to tickle, but before it hits with a BANG!
To stop the itch a scratch won’t touch & save the future grief;
I’m here to tell you a secret; you have to have a belief.
That there is something Higher, a Power greater than you;
God, the steps & the fellowship; this is now your new crew!
And with that knowledge I told me bye, I’d really had enough;
I’d never try to bluff again; I wasn’t tough enough!
peace