When Faced With Living With An Elderly Parent

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WHEN FACED WITH
LIVING WITH AN ELDERLY PARENT

As parents begin to age, there may be physical or financial reasons to invite them to live with you. Look at this as an opportunity instead of a problem, even though there may be times of conflict or misunderstandings. If you seek ways to strengthen your relationship, you will be blessed beyond measure, enriching both your life and theirs.

How you view the presence of your elderly parent either makes it a chore or a pleasure. Reason to yourself: “Perhaps some day I, too, will have to live with my children. I would like to have them treat me with kindness, respect, and consideration.�

1. Encourage the parent to be independent by allowing him or her to pursue as many outside interests as possible. Don't assume that your parent is incapable of enjoying good relationships and activities outside of the home.

2. If your parent cannot get out easily, encourage inside interests such as reading, writing or working with his or her hands. Talk with your parent about world events. Keep him informed. Discuss as many things as you can so that his or her mind remains stimulated.

3. At all costs, with God as your helper, don’t complain or become a martyr because you have allowed your parent to live with you.

4. Thank God for allowing this person to remain alive as an integral member of your family. Many times, grandparents can positively influence younger members of the family in ways their parents cannot. Consider every day with your elderly parent to be a precious gift.
Since you share many memories together and your lives are intertwined, why not ask your parent to create a scrapbook of those memories, in pictures and also in words.
There are many special things you’ve probably forgotten that your parent may remember in great detail. This scrapbook can be a legacy for your children to treasure for years. Just remember that when your parent is gone, it will be like a great tree falling and leaving an empty place against the sky.

5. Emphasize the thought that an older person can potentially add an element of quiet helpfulness and faith to the rest of the family.

6. Any home can be a place of peace and happiness, if it is a home of prayer. Always say grace at the table and frequently call upon the older family member to pray. The prayers of older people have a quality and depth with which younger people need to be familiar.

Any home can be a place of peace and happiness

Excerpted from What’s Your Trouble? by Norman Vincent Peale