How to Handle Complainers - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

*admin* · 07-18-2006, 04:43 PM

How to Handle Complainers

1. Listen to them and let them vent for limited amount
of time. Let them get the emotion out.

2. Acknowledge their complaint. You are not
necessarily agreeing with them but you are
acknowledging their complaint by saying it back to
them so they know you heard them.

3. As for a solution. Complainers often don't have a
solution, they just want to complain. Ask them to come
back when they have a solution or an idea for solving
the problem.

4. Ask them how they would like things to turn out.
This moves the conversation from the problem toward a
solution.

5. Ask them how they can be part of the solution. This
makes them take some responsibility for what they are
complaining about.

-- Author Unknown

free2bunme · 07-18-2006, 07:07 PM

Good ideas, thank you.

Nachise · 08-04-2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by free2bunme

Good ideas, thank you.

I agree!

I am currently sponsoring someone who is a complainer. It pays to listen, because the thing she is really complaining about is not always evident when she starts complaining. When the conversation is turned to how she would resolve the problem, a second or third issue comes up that is clearly acting as background noise for her initial complaints.

flickchic · 08-04-2006, 08:10 PM

Excellent share, thank's for the tips!!!!

think I'll print them out to memorise them and try and put them into action next time I have to talk with the ex, he so often seems to have complaints, I let him know I hear him, but I generally try to move the conversation after that, especially if the children are around as it's so negative so often and it's tireing; as we all know being around negative people can create a negative atmosphere and if I had the choice I would not spend time with this person.

08-05-2006, 12:50 PM

Tammy
That is good, sound advice. Sometimes, people just want a sounding board. Other times, they want you to get mad with them. I have a hard time with this. My first question usually is "What can we do to fix this?" Notice, please, that I said we. I have to remember that others problems may or not be of consequence to me. In these cases, the Serenity Prayer and humor come to my aid more often than not.

*janbear* · 08-05-2006, 12:56 PM

excellent post

07-18-2006, 04:43 PM	#1
admin Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 28,249	How to Handle Complainers How to Handle Complainers 1. Listen to them and let them vent for limited amount of time. Let them get the emotion out. 2. Acknowledge their complaint. You are not necessarily agreeing with them but you are acknowledging their complaint by saying it back to them so they know you heard them. 3. As for a solution. Complainers often don't have a solution, they just want to complain. Ask them to come back when they have a solution or an idea for solving the problem. 4. Ask them how they would like things to turn out. This moves the conversation from the problem toward a solution. 5. Ask them how they can be part of the solution. This makes them take some responsibility for what they are complaining about. -- Author Unknown

07-18-2006, 07:07 PM	#2
free2bunme Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,542	Good ideas, thank you. __________________ The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. e.e. cummings When sleeping women wake, mountains move. Chinese Proverb Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T.S. Eliot Let nothing upset you, Let nothing frighten you. Everything is changing; God alone is changeless. Patience attains the goal. Who has God lacks nothing; God alone fills all needs. Saint Teresa of Avila

08-05-2006, 12:56 PM	#6
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,184	excellent post __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
How do you Handle this?	janbear	Recovery Topics and Questions	7	04-29-2008 07:30 PM
In Loving Service -The Gaps in the Service Manuel	dalin	Narcotics Anonymous - Substance Abuse Recovery	3	04-19-2008 12:58 AM
4 days sober: How do I handle vacation	Julie193	Newcomers Recovery Help/Support	4	11-08-2007 11:41 PM
How to handle negative feelings/suppressed feelings	admin	Dis-Ease of other Mental Disorders	0	08-11-2006 07:32 AM
Worry-Signal or Noise?	admin	Family & Friends of Alcoholics/Addicts	0	06-17-2006 07:52 AM

08-04-2006, 08:10 PM	#4
flickchic Registerd User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: central wheatbelt, western australia Posts: 1,157	Excellent share, thank's for the tips!!!! think I'll print them out to memorise them and try and put them into action next time I have to talk with the ex, he so often seems to have complaints, I let him know I hear him, but I generally try to move the conversation after that, especially if the children are around as it's so negative so often and it's tireing; as we all know being around negative people can create a negative atmosphere and if I had the choice I would not spend time with this person.

08-05-2006, 12:50 PM	#5
cassie Guest Posts: n/a	Tammy That is good, sound advice. Sometimes, people just want a sounding board. Other times, they want you to get mad with them. I have a hard time with this. My first question usually is "What can we do to fix this?" Notice, please, that I said we. I have to remember that others problems may or not be of consequence to me. In these cases, the Serenity Prayer and humor come to my aid more often than not.