hello its me river - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

river · 07-20-2006, 04:58 PM

i lost my post i think this here is knew so i am repeating well try to say what i had there but i am knew to this fellowship, i am five months after a 15 month stretch of clean time which was my longest but i lost it due to the leaving the felloship and sober support and my prayer i thought i had to work and work and work to keep an apt that was nice but big and i lost that also well i am back now with a more strength and committment then ever i am in out jpatient and am so open i cant ger enough i feel i am junken out on discovery and afraid ill miss some message or spiritual gift i know i have extremes i Am babbling now well i hope to hear from you and get to make new friends peace and gods love and blessing to you river

*janbear* · 07-20-2006, 09:09 PM

Hi River, so nice to meet you. I am Jan, recovering alcoholic/addict living in Okla. I was introduced to the program back in 1988, i relapsed after 16 months, but made it back and relapsed again 6 1/2 years later. Again fortunately i made it back again, but my whole spirit seemed to change and i had a willingness i never had before, like you i just couldnt get enough of recovery all of sudden and it has maintained like that for a little over 10 years now. My last relapse was a big jarring experience for me, my love for the 12 step program and actually working the steps made all the difference and i began to truly change. Today though, i still have bumps in the road, i lost my father

to cancer just last month, June 28th, and amazingly i am still clean and sober. I remember wondering just after he passed if this was a good excuse to use and i decided it wasnt. Being clean and sober is wonderful even in hard times. We all help each other, and we are here for you.
Please make yourself at home here and look around the board and let us know if you have any questions. Keep coming back and let us get to know you even better.

free2bunme · 07-21-2006, 11:40 AM

Hi River, Nice to meetcha. I'm Frannie, recovering alkie from Atlanta GA, sober 11 months as of yesterday.I was just thinking this morning about how far I have progressed in the program by working the steps and staying sober. I was terrified of other people, unable to stop using drugs, scaring others with my strange thoughts (which some might call crazy LOL), completely out of it mentally, in poor physical health, with no concentrative powers, having no self confidence or self-respect, completely broke and irresponsible, panicked almost all the time, and with little to no faith in a Higher Power, etc etc when I came in to AA. Today I am so grateful to say that all of those things have changed for the better! Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

river · 07-21-2006, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by free2bunme

Hi River, Nice to meetcha. I'm Frannie, recovering alkie from Atlanta GA, sober 11 months as of yesterday.I was just thinking this morning about how far I have progressed in the program by working the steps and staying sober. I was terrified of other people, unable to stop using drugs, scaring others with my strange thoughts (which some might call crazy LOL), completely out of it mentally, in poor physical health, with no concentrative powers, having no self confidence or self-respect, completely broke and irresponsible, panicked almost all the time, and with little to no faith in a Higher Power, etc etc when I came in to AA. Today I am so grateful to say that all of those things have changed for the better! Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

hello janbear, its me river, i thaknyu for the reply i live in ny and am amother to two daughters one of which is betrayed by me for letting her dad know she got drunk and blacked out, which i knw i did the right thing she is 15, the other is 20 and is going to college , i have not raised them in eight years as losing them was devestating and self destructive suicidal using i began, they are with family any way i am in an outpatient progra,m and today is a tough day, i am going through guilt about my Hana (15) not being there for her or her allowing me to be there as she is going through a hard time her best friend had a suicide attempt and i dont know the results if she suceeded or not hopefully not i pray but still so badly hurt, so i am just hanging tough even though i feel like falling apart and breaking down . a little what is going on today

river · 07-21-2006, 03:16 PM

hello , thankyou for replying its nice to meet you congradulations on your 11 months that i know is a great achievemant ya know when we stay sober clean for any periond of time we are a suceess, i look at my success as one day every day today is one of those days i just want to pull the cover over my head and sleep so i am grateful i am here and found this place to lose my self for the moment and grief. i just want to cry cry cry pray p-ray pray cry cry cry it feels that bad but itsnot that bad i mean i am powerless over some situations and just have to ride them out and feel and soon the pain grief is over... just for today , i am able, i am worthy, and loved! od well ill talk to you againg river oh i am from kngston ny

flickchic · 07-21-2006, 05:32 PM

River

Hello and Welcome from me, Felicity. I live in Australia and am one grateful clean d.addict and recovery alcoholic.

I am glad you have reached out for support to detox and I really wish you well on your recovery journey.

I have been using this site since January and have found wonderful people, much supportive friendship, it's really good to have you share your journey here with us.

I had my youngest child taken from my care at 4 months of age due to my drug addiction and DV and had limited o/vnight contact with my other 4 children for a long time. When my wee one was removed from my care it devestated me and I really 'junked out' big time. He is home with me now, coming up 3 years since I had custody returned to me, and I am so grateful that happened. I had issues with my eldest, now 19 due to her turning to drugs also, gratefully she is also now clean. Since I began my recent journey of recovery I have seen so many positive things happen between the children and myself, with our r/ships and their outlooks/attitudes on life. It is one of the most rewarding things as a recovering parent for me to know that I am finally able to give them the time and attention they so deserve, I was always very emotionally disabled and unvailable to them.

I pray you will find your way and it reflects upon your children also, it is so worth all the hard work we have to put into to remain clean / sober.

Please take care of yourself, I will continue to pray for you, for strength and courage, one day at a time.

*Prescott* · 07-22-2006, 10:35 AM

Hi river, Welcome to our recovery family. There are allot of great ladies here as your finding out. I hope things work out for you. Keep coming back. Glad your here. I've been a member here for a couple of yrs and the fellowship is great.

07-22-2006, 12:18 PM

Hi River
I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. Welcome to the board - this is a great family with lots of love, experience, strength and hope to share. I hope you keep coming back. You don't have to do this alone.

cassie

Aprilskyzz · 07-22-2006, 10:48 PM

Hello river, My name is april and i just recently came back from a one year relapse. Prior to that I had seven years clean. I stopped using the fellowship and went back on drugs.

During my first active addiction, I had lost custody of my child and instead of continuing to use, I choice to get her back. It took two years, but she is home with me again. Since them, i had another child and a failed marriage. All was well but due to Migraine headaches so severe, I turned to a pain clinic after no results from many other physicians and specialist. I started to abuse the drugs and went on a year active addiction journey, but since the past fifteen days, i have put the drugs down and am back to my recovery. It is extremely hard and the physical part of it was horrible I detoxed at home and could not function for eight day. I still feel symptoms of the meds, but it is getting better. I attend meetings almost every night and come here to this site many times a day. It really helps. I wish you nothiing but the best. Welcome. Feel free to contact me or ask any questions. You have someone who cares. Sincerely, April

SkinnyNinja · 07-23-2006, 12:09 AM

Seems like a coincidence to me, but others might argue that there is no such thing as coincidence >>>> Check the name of the website in my sig!

07-20-2006, 04:58 PM	#1
river my spirit flows Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: new york, Posts: 47	hello its me river i lost my post i think this here is knew so i am repeating well try to say what i had there but i am knew to this fellowship, i am five months after a 15 month stretch of clean time which was my longest but i lost it due to the leaving the felloship and sober support and my prayer i thought i had to work and work and work to keep an apt that was nice but big and i lost that also well i am back now with a more strength and committment then ever i am in out jpatient and am so open i cant ger enough i feel i am junken out on discovery and afraid ill miss some message or spiritual gift i know i have extremes i Am babbling now well i hope to hear from you and get to make new friends peace and gods love and blessing to you river

07-20-2006, 09:09 PM	#2
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,210	Hi River, so nice to meet you. I am Jan, recovering alcoholic/addict living in Okla. I was introduced to the program back in 1988, i relapsed after 16 months, but made it back and relapsed again 6 1/2 years later. Again fortunately i made it back again, but my whole spirit seemed to change and i had a willingness i never had before, like you i just couldnt get enough of recovery all of sudden and it has maintained like that for a little over 10 years now. My last relapse was a big jarring experience for me, my love for the 12 step program and actually working the steps made all the difference and i began to truly change. Today though, i still have bumps in the road, i lost my father to cancer just last month, June 28th, and amazingly i am still clean and sober. I remember wondering just after he passed if this was a good excuse to use and i decided it wasnt. Being clean and sober is wonderful even in hard times. We all help each other, and we are here for you. Please make yourself at home here and look around the board and let us know if you have any questions. Keep coming back and let us get to know you even better. __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

07-21-2006, 11:40 AM	#3
free2bunme Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,542	Hi River, Nice to meetcha. I'm Frannie, recovering alkie from Atlanta GA, sober 11 months as of yesterday.I was just thinking this morning about how far I have progressed in the program by working the steps and staying sober. I was terrified of other people, unable to stop using drugs, scaring others with my strange thoughts (which some might call crazy LOL), completely out of it mentally, in poor physical health, with no concentrative powers, having no self confidence or self-respect, completely broke and irresponsible, panicked almost all the time, and with little to no faith in a Higher Power, etc etc when I came in to AA. Today I am so grateful to say that all of those things have changed for the better! Keep coming back, it works if you work it. __________________ The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. e.e. cummings When sleeping women wake, mountains move. Chinese Proverb Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T.S. Eliot Let nothing upset you, Let nothing frighten you. Everything is changing; God alone is changeless. Patience attains the goal. Who has God lacks nothing; God alone fills all needs. Saint Teresa of Avila

07-22-2006, 10:35 AM	#7
Prescott Moderator Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Prescott AZ Posts: 3,196	Hi river, Welcome to our recovery family. There are allot of great ladies here as your finding out. I hope things work out for you. Keep coming back. Glad your here. I've been a member here for a couple of yrs and the fellowship is great. __________________ "Keep it simple" Love in recovery...John

07-23-2006, 12:09 AM	#10
SkinnyNinja Regular Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 16	Seems like a coincidence to me, but others might argue that there is no such thing as coincidence >>>> Check the name of the website in my sig! __________________ www.spiritualriver.com

07-21-2006, 03:16 PM	#5
river my spirit flows Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: new york, Posts: 47	hello , thankyou for replying its nice to meet you congradulations on your 11 months that i know is a great achievemant ya know when we stay sober clean for any periond of time we are a suceess, i look at my success as one day every day today is one of those days i just want to pull the cover over my head and sleep so i am grateful i am here and found this place to lose my self for the moment and grief. i just want to cry cry cry pray p-ray pray cry cry cry it feels that bad but itsnot that bad i mean i am powerless over some situations and just have to ride them out and feel and soon the pain grief is over... just for today , i am able, i am worthy, and loved! od well ill talk to you againg river oh i am from kngston ny

07-21-2006, 05:32 PM	#6
flickchic Registerd User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: central wheatbelt, western australia Posts: 1,157	River Hello and Welcome from me, Felicity. I live in Australia and am one grateful clean d.addict and recovery alcoholic. I am glad you have reached out for support to detox and I really wish you well on your recovery journey. I have been using this site since January and have found wonderful people, much supportive friendship, it's really good to have you share your journey here with us. I had my youngest child taken from my care at 4 months of age due to my drug addiction and DV and had limited o/vnight contact with my other 4 children for a long time. When my wee one was removed from my care it devestated me and I really 'junked out' big time. He is home with me now, coming up 3 years since I had custody returned to me, and I am so grateful that happened. I had issues with my eldest, now 19 due to her turning to drugs also, gratefully she is also now clean. Since I began my recent journey of recovery I have seen so many positive things happen between the children and myself, with our r/ships and their outlooks/attitudes on life. It is one of the most rewarding things as a recovering parent for me to know that I am finally able to give them the time and attention they so deserve, I was always very emotionally disabled and unvailable to them. I pray you will find your way and it reflects upon your children also, it is so worth all the hard work we have to put into to remain clean / sober. Please take care of yourself, I will continue to pray for you, for strength and courage, one day at a time.

07-22-2006, 12:18 PM	#8
cassie Guest Posts: n/a	Hi River I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. Welcome to the board - this is a great family with lots of love, experience, strength and hope to share. I hope you keep coming back. You don't have to do this alone. cassie

07-22-2006, 10:48 PM	#9
Aprilskyzz Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: CT Posts: 171	Hello river, My name is april and i just recently came back from a one year relapse. Prior to that I had seven years clean. I stopped using the fellowship and went back on drugs. During my first active addiction, I had lost custody of my child and instead of continuing to use, I choice to get her back. It took two years, but she is home with me again. Since them, i had another child and a failed marriage. All was well but due to Migraine headaches so severe, I turned to a pain clinic after no results from many other physicians and specialist. I started to abuse the drugs and went on a year active addiction journey, but since the past fifteen days, i have put the drugs down and am back to my recovery. It is extremely hard and the physical part of it was horrible I detoxed at home and could not function for eight day. I still feel symptoms of the meds, but it is getting better. I attend meetings almost every night and come here to this site many times a day. It really helps. I wish you nothiing but the best. Welcome. Feel free to contact me or ask any questions. You have someone who cares. Sincerely, April

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