Seeing ourselves in new Ways - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

*janbear* · 06-09-2006, 03:04 PM

Seeing ourselves in new Ways

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When we were children, our parents and other important adults served as mirrors for us. They taught us who we were by the ways they "mirrored" reality.We then internalized these perspectives and carried them with us into our adult lives.
I we experienced neglect, abuse, criticism, or smothering as children, then we are likely to see ourselves in negative ways as adults. Neglect teaches children that they are uninteresting and unimportant. Criticism teaches them that they are never good enough or that they are valuable only if they achieve perfection. Smothering teaches them they are incompetent and valuable only as an extension of the parent. Abuse teaches them that they are powerless and that something must be terribly wrong with them.
In order to heal from distorted images of ourselves, we need a positive frame of reference outside of ourselves. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see ourselves as God sees us. God's point of view is independent of our own. He can "mirror" reality for us. The good news is that God does not neglect or criticize or smother or abuse. He loves, respects, and values us as no parent has ever been able to do. He can provide a new and very different kind of mirror for us. As we gradually internalize the attitudes God has toward us, we'll begin to view ourselves in new and healthy ways. -Dale and Juanita Ryan

06-09-2006, 03:04 PM	#1
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,175	Seeing ourselves in new Ways Seeing ourselves in new Ways -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we were children, our parents and other important adults served as mirrors for us. They taught us who we were by the ways they "mirrored" reality.We then internalized these perspectives and carried them with us into our adult lives. I we experienced neglect, abuse, criticism, or smothering as children, then we are likely to see ourselves in negative ways as adults. Neglect teaches children that they are uninteresting and unimportant. Criticism teaches them that they are never good enough or that they are valuable only if they achieve perfection. Smothering teaches them they are incompetent and valuable only as an extension of the parent. Abuse teaches them that they are powerless and that something must be terribly wrong with them. In order to heal from distorted images of ourselves, we need a positive frame of reference outside of ourselves. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see ourselves as God sees us. God's point of view is independent of our own. He can "mirror" reality for us. The good news is that God does not neglect or criticize or smother or abuse. He loves, respects, and values us as no parent has ever been able to do. He can provide a new and very different kind of mirror for us. As we gradually internalize the attitudes God has toward us, we'll begin to view ourselves in new and healthy ways. -Dale and Juanita Ryan __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

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