Survivor?s Prayer

[janbear]

Survivor’s Prayer

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Survivor’s Prayer

By: Carolyn Leigh





Help me to release the anger inside

To tell the little girl not to hide

It is safe to come out

It is time to tell

The horrible secret she kept so well



I will believe her and hear her voice

She will know she has a choice

To live instead of cower

To breathe and grow and tower

Over the fears that are no more

And let the tears pour



She has lived beneath a rock

In the hard, cold dark

She is strong and she is tough

But she has borne quite enough



Time to come out and face the day

Time to run free and live and play

Time to meet the adult she’s become

Time to feel the warmth of the sun



She has a sad sorry story

One that only she can tell

Please share it with me little one

Every horrid detail

So we can both be set free

From the captor who is he

To let go of the resentment

And to find our own contentment



One that no one can touch

[janbear]

flickchic
Trusted Servant



Age: 39
Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Posts: 552
Location: Australia

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 2:27 pm Post subject:

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This touched and saddened me, so well expressed. I have an unhealthy teenager locked inside of me, her name is George/ina, I'd like to share some of me; George is caught in a time frame from 12, I developed her with a male personality to try and fend off my father, I dressed in my brother's clothes, I wore after shave, I had my long hair cut off, I became very rough around the edges and had a major attitude. I left home when I was 15, from the outback to a city, I couldn't take anymore.
I have spent a lot of time trying to work with George, my counsellor and I began to refer to her as her and not him and changed her name to
Georgina for a softer approach. My councellor says he sees the days when George has walked into therapy as opposed to the adult Felicity, my partner has seen George on too many occasions, George is harsh, full of revenge and rage and behaves as a very ugly teenager. She/he is my male alter ego and is my defence mechanism, whenever I feel hurt or threatened George comes to the rescue, however George is very very destructive, I don't like George and that's sad because she's a big piece of me, I tried to accept her and tell her I didn't need her to behave like that anymore, that I was big enough to look afte both of us, however recently when I hit the booze and had that great big black out rage I know it was George, she is ugly and abusive, I felt threatened by my partner leaving the mine site we were on and leaving me up there alone, the abondonment issues kicked in and when I was plastered I looked around for him at the bar to find him gone, when I wnet back to our room I let it rip, then I had another issue to deal with as he hit me in the face, just under my left eye, that infuriated me, I recal yelling at him that he had "made me ugly", how dare he make me ugly...it meant having to hide and I'd given up "hiding" nearly 6 years ago, my last man used to beat me up often, as a young adult I had no self confidence and "hid behind a fringe" all the time, I so resented this man making me ugly, George lost control and could not be reasoned with. I think there is a bit more to the "ugliness" thing however I'm not quite sure what yet, maybe it takes me too far back to trying to remove my beauty to protect myself against my father, made myself ugly....... do you have any ideas on this one?


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felicity




for every negative there is always a positive, seek and ye shall find it.................................



Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of
courage and true progress.

-- Nicholas Murray Butler