Reasons why A.A. meetings are good for your sobriety

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It seems easy to take some of the statements we hear in meetings as trite or superficial. For example:



We hear this in meetings:

1.

There are three ways we stay sober in A.A. They are meetings, meetings, and meetings.
2.

You gotta go to these meetings until you wanna go to these meetings, and then you don't gotta go anymore.
3.

I go to meetings to see what happens to folks who don't go to these meetings.
4.

I recently relapsed because I stopped coming to meetings.
5.

When you are new, go to 90 meetings in 90 days.
6.

If you drank every day, then you should go to a meeting every day.
7.

Etc., etc., etc.

We have learned, though, that these slogans just might save our lives.

Our Big Book does not encourage "meetings" as a necessary activity to retain sobriety. Of course, there were not that many meetings around in 1939. On the contrary, it emphasizes cleaning house (via the steps), trusting God and working with other alcoholics. But even though "meetings" are not a common word, the Big Book does say:

I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship and so will you. "How is that to come about?" you ask. "Where am I to find these people?" You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. .....Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thy self." [Big Book page 152]

Today, in just Los Angeles, there are thousands of meetings a week. Most of us had our first direct encounter with A.A. at an A.A. meeting.

Elsewhere, we (the Big Book Bunch) point out that the A.A. program is like a tripod (or, a three legged bar stool, if that is more familiar) of three essential components:

1.

The 12 steps of recovery, which define the "process".
2.

A fellowship of recovered alcoholics (meetings are a primary manifestation)
3.

The presence and direction of God.

We have put our heads together to figure out just why meetings can and should play an essential part in our recovery and that of newcomers. Here are the primary reasons we identified.

SANCTUARY. We rarely encounter demons in A.A. meetings, except, of course, for the ones we bring with us in our heads. We can be free of the pressures of family, work, and the streets for a while.

ABSTINENCE. (For at least and hour). We have heard stories about folks who bring a pint with them into a meeting for medication in the rest room, or who tipple from a bottle in the car during the break. None of us have witnessed these foolish actions.

SOBER COMPANIONS. Instead of hanging out with the old drinking cronies, we have adopted new associates. We have in common at least two things: we are alcoholics, and we are recovering from the disease of alcoholism.

SCHOOLING. A.A. meetings are like the old country school house. The more advanced students teach the newer ones what they have learned. We have a common text, our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous (and 12 Steps and 12 Traditions), as well as pamphlets and meeting directories. But, during the meeting our primary means of learning is from the experience of our fellows. We identify. Both their successes and failures are laid out for our inspection. We can adjust our own lives from their experience. It has been said that experience is a dear(expensive) teacher. And it is a fool who learns by no other. We discover we no longer need to be fools.

EXAMPLES. From our learning we observe the winners and the losers. Our basis for discerning success changes slowly from the physical to the spiritual.

CONTACTS. One aspect of sobriety is an evolution to successful living.

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Sponsors. From those we deem winners we select guides to take us through the steps. With them we also can have a private partner with whom we can discuss just about anything. If we are open to change, we incorporate their suggestions into our thoughts and actions, and we learn to take their direction.
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Pigeons. We also find others, newer to recovery, with whom we can share our own experience, hope and strength. These folks have been called sponsees or babies. We prefer the old A.A. term, pigeon, though.
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Sober friends. People offer us rides to meetings, and we might go out for a bite after the meeting. From some of these encounters deep friendships can arise. A common distress of alcoholics is loneliness. What a joy we find in acceptance.
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Sober professionals. All sorts of professions and skills are encountered in A.A. Even though some of our members continue to exercise their character defects even into sobriety, many of us prefer to patronize and enjoy the personal attention of other A.A. members in our outside lives.
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Sober "relationships". Yes, few of us refuse to notice that many A.A.s are very attractive people. Some of us even habituate meetings where those who "turn us on" are likely to attend. We even knew a fellow who hit three meetings every night - at the first he watched which ladies would arrive in the first 10 minutes, then he scooted over to another place, and he wound up with the Lord's Prayer in a third. Some of us used to go to the bars in much the same manner. The last we heard, this guy was still dry, but we never did notice if he "scored", so to speak.

More on relationships. Another member we knew used to say, "Beneath every skirt you might find a slip". His wife (who had 10 years on him) often followed with, "Behind every zipper there lurks a slipper".

Relationships — the final word. Without fail, we never ever fool around with persons new to A.A. or who are too young or clearly not competent to have physical experiences. To do so not only invites censure and condemnation, but it might drive a newcomer away from recovery, and we will experience a very obvious sense of shame, guilt, remorse and self-loathing. There is no step thirteen. Period.

Well, almost. In any event, A.A. is a good place for us to meet enduring friends and to find intimacy. It is necessary, however, that we remember to keep our (and their) sobriety uppermost in our priorities.

SERVICE. Every meeting needs its coffee, setup, tear down and leadership. For some of us, meeting service provided an early opportunity to feel accepted, useful, and necessary. A few continue into Intergroup, General Service and the speaker circuit. Don't miss this chance for constructive growth. Also, don't pass up the chance to carry the message to other alcoholics. This is done in our overall example, statements in meetings, in one-on-one discussions and sponsorship.

REPUTATION. Having some semblance of pride is not always a defect of character. We are supposed to develop a sense of our own dignity, to have self-respect, and to be grateful for our sobriety and our achievements. These are a natural, proper and necessary consequence of taking the 12 steps. Once we feel pretty good about our progress, we don't want to throw it away. We don't want to be the butt of gossip or to envision ourselves describing a relapse in a meeting. Having a reputation to cherish happens in A.A. Keeping it untarnished is a healthy practice.

EXPERIENCING THE SPIRIT. Our Big Book explains in at least three places that God is to be found deep within ourselves. Whenever two or more persons are gathered for the purposes of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous, the amount of Godness present is multiplied over that within any one individual. If the meeting is one of those which is obviously spiritual, we sense the power of the Spirit. It can be almost electric during the final prayer. We have all felt this. We cannot get enough!

So, here are ten or more reasons to attend A.A. meetings - to get INTO A.A. instead of just ON A.A.

For those who stay home to watch Monday Night Football, we ask, "Is there really any TV program that that can compare with an A.A. meeting?" In fact, A.A. members quite often display their mechanical ineptitude when it comes to the revelation that they cannot figure out how to operate their TV recorders. Just think of the advantages: You can replay the exciting moments of the ball game and fast forward through the dull moments. Commercials can be made less obnoxious, and the total time consumed by watching a tape can be less than half that of watching in real time. Now that we don't drink beer and we go easy on the snacks it is never an excuse to miss a meeting for the telly, we say with a grin.
http://www.sober.org/Meetings.html