how to gently fire a sponsor? - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

peajaye · 10-07-2006, 05:48 PM

I agreed to sponsor a woman today that has 2 years this month. Shortly after telling her yes, I would sponsor her, she asked how to tell her current sponsor. After rolling this around in my head for a few minutes, I had a light bulb moment and told her to pray about it. I know the woman that currently sponsors her, or at least I know who she is. Any ideas out there?

*snugsnug* · 10-08-2006, 08:18 AM

Hey peajay, I got a new sponsor this summer. My first sponsor was with me from the beginning. This was a tough decision for me, you see I am a people pleaser, and I surely did not want to hurt his feelings. But what they told me in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous is that this is a selfish program, and that my recovery is mine.

God put my first sponsor in my life when I needed him, and he guided me through some steps, and I did some good recovery with him, and nobody can take that away from us, but I am recovering and I had to move on. They also told me that recovery was an active change in attitude and behavior.

God put a new sponsor in my life right when I needed one, he did start me over on my step work and I did want to cop a resentment with him but I didn't. I saw something in my new sponsor that I wanted.

It seemed to me that my old sponsor copped a resentment when I told him about my decision, it seemed like he avoided me at meetings, and that was OK, that was his ****************, not mine. Sometimes personalities get in the way. He and I are still in the same homegroup, go to the same meetings.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for, there is really no real answer, I don't think. Praying about it is the best suggestion.

Sterling

*admin* · 10-08-2006, 09:07 AM

For me, the way is to go ahead and tell the person - the sooner the better, preferrably face to face and/or by phone. Don't drag it out. Be short and sweet - in and out. (Keep it simple.) Whatever they feel afterwards is theirs. I agree with praying about it.

*janbear* · 10-08-2006, 03:30 PM

Yes, prayer is always called for first. I let go of a sponsor recently, she took it well. I just felt it was time to move on and thats all i told her. I have always believed that a good sponsor wont expect a bunch of explanations and she didnt.

10-07-2006, 05:48 PM	#1
peajaye Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Marietta, GA--atlanta Posts: 946	how to gently fire a sponsor? I agreed to sponsor a woman today that has 2 years this month. Shortly after telling her yes, I would sponsor her, she asked how to tell her current sponsor. After rolling this around in my head for a few minutes, I had a light bulb moment and told her to pray about it. I know the woman that currently sponsors her, or at least I know who she is. Any ideas out there? __________________ Recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind. PegJean

10-08-2006, 08:18 AM	#2
snugsnug Servant of Christ Jesus Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 1,640	Hey peajay, I got a new sponsor this summer. My first sponsor was with me from the beginning. This was a tough decision for me, you see I am a people pleaser, and I surely did not want to hurt his feelings. But what they told me in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous is that this is a selfish program, and that my recovery is mine. God put my first sponsor in my life when I needed him, and he guided me through some steps, and I did some good recovery with him, and nobody can take that away from us, but I am recovering and I had to move on. They also told me that recovery was an active change in attitude and behavior. God put a new sponsor in my life right when I needed one, he did start me over on my step work and I did want to cop a resentment with him but I didn't. I saw something in my new sponsor that I wanted. It seemed to me that my old sponsor copped a resentment when I told him about my decision, it seemed like he avoided me at meetings, and that was OK, that was his ****************, not mine. Sometimes personalities get in the way. He and I are still in the same homegroup, go to the same meetings. I don't know if this is what you were looking for, there is really no real answer, I don't think. Praying about it is the best suggestion. Sterling __________________ We know that it is not our job to win the Kingdoms of the world for ourselves. We simply have to make witness to Jesus Christ and to Him crucified. De Colores

10-08-2006, 03:30 PM	#4
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,175	Yes, prayer is always called for first. I let go of a sponsor recently, she took it well. I just felt it was time to move on and thats all i told her. I have always believed that a good sponsor wont expect a bunch of explanations and she didnt. __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

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10-08-2006, 09:07 AM	#3
admin Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 28,249	For me, the way is to go ahead and tell the person - the sooner the better, preferrably face to face and/or by phone. Don't drag it out. Be short and sweet - in and out. (Keep it simple.) Whatever they feel afterwards is theirs. I agree with praying about it.