RELAPSE

[admin]

RELAPSE

...when the ego gets in the way it blocks communication.
AA Today, page 10, paragraph 1, lines 8 & 9
...he felt he could discern the outlines of a common character
structure among problem drinkers and that the best terms he could find for
the group of qualities noted was "defiant individuality" and "grandiosity."
Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age: page 11, paragraph 2, lines 11-14
About this slip business--I would not be too discouraged. I think you
are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or other,
the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are
treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only
asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing.
So I would not stay away from A.A. through any feeling of discouragement or
shame. It's just the place you should be. Why don't you try just as a
member? You don't have carry the whole A.A. on your back, you know!
It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also
the quality that counts.
Above all, take it one day at a time.
As Bill Sees It: page 11

In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a
lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.
As Bill Sees It: page 31, paragraph 1

Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do
not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you can,
just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of it
which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.
Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no.
Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you
ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame
yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for
better things.
As Bill Sees It: page 68, paragraphs 1-3

As the book `Alcoholics Anonymous' puts it, `Resentment is the Number
One offender.' It is a primary cause of relapses into drinking.
As Bill Sees It: page 98, paragraph 1, lines 1-3

Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious
then others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be `cured' of
alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency.
Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or
three years--then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme
guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too
little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds
up to slips.
As Bill Sees It: page 99, paragraph 1

Guilt is really the reverse side of the coin of pride. Guilt aims at
self-destruction, and pride aims at the destruction of others.
As Bill Sees It: page 140, paragraph 2

Our spiritual and emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply
upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear
this in mind, I think your slip will have the effect of kicking you
upstairs, instead of down.
We A.A.'s have had no better teacher than Old Man Adversity, except in
those cases where we refuse to let him teach us.
As Bill Sees It: page 184, paragraphs 1 & 2

You know what our genius for rationalization is. If, to ourselves, we
fully justify one slip, then our rationalizing propensities are almost sure
to justify another one, perhaps with a different set of excuses. But one
justification leads to another and presently we are back on the bottle
full-time.
As Bill Sees It: page 197, paragraph 1

Don't be too discouraged about that slip. Practically always, we
drunks learn the hard way.
Your idea of moving on to somewhere else may be good, or it may not.
Perhaps you have got into an emotional or economic jam that can't be well
handled where your are. But maybe you are doing just what all of us have
done, at one time or another: Maybe you are running away. Why don't you
try to think that through again carefully?
Are you really placing recovery first, or are you making it contingent
upon other people, places, or circumstances? You may find it ever so much
better to face the music right where you are now, and, with the help of the
A.A. program, win through. Before you make a decision weigh it in these
terms.
As Bill Sees It: page 251

During acute depression, avoid trying to set your whole life in order
all at once. If you take on assignments so heavy that you are sure to fail
in them at the moment, then you are allowing yourself to be tricked by your
unconscious. Thus you will continue to make sure of your failure, and when
it comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into depression.
In short, the `all or nothing' attitude is a most destructive one. It
is best to begin with whatever the irreducible minimums of activity are.
Then work for an enlargement of these--day by day. Don't be disconcerted by
setbacks--just start over.
As Bill Sees It: page 308

Then you know how we talk about God never forgetting us. Dr. Bob had a
story for that, too. One man was telling another about all the trouble his
son got into, and the second fellow said, `You know, Jim, if that was my
son, I'd kick him out.' The first fellow said, `If he was your son, I'd
kick him out, too.' That was to stress that God didn't kick us out. We
left of our own accord.
Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers: page 229, paragraph 1

...in God's economy, nothing is wasted.
Pass It On: page 251, paragraph 3, lines 9 & 10

...Bill's philosophy...The subject is slips:
"There have been a number of slips this summer, among A.A.'s who have
been dry two or three years. Naturally, these episodes have brought a lot
of worry to the families involved, who find the old nightmare revived. Yet
I do not know of any case but that has, in a sense, benefitted. These
occurrences simply serve notice on all of us that no one is ever really
cured of alcoholism. We only have a reprieve day by day, contingent on our
spiritual well-being. But nothing is more sure than that our release can be
perpetual if we make it so. In the case of these older members who have
slips, the effect is to remind them of these eternal verities of the
alcoholic sickness. The slip invariably kicks them upstairs instead of
down. I'm positive you will find it that way with Bern. He has only been
getting a little instruction the hard way."
Pass It On: page 252, paragraph 4, lines 1 & 3 & paragraph

...became competitive, instead of cooperative...
The Language of the Heart: page 5, paragraph 1, lines 12 & 13

They tell us we alcoholics are the biggest rationalizers in the world;
that fortified with the excuse we are doing great things for AA we can,
through broken anonymity, resume our old and disastrous pursuit of personal
power and prestige, public honors, and money--the same implacable urges that
when frustrated once caused us to drink; the same forces that are today
ripping the globe apart at its seams.
The Language of the Heart: page 215, paragraph 7

...when ego gets in the way it blocks communications.
The Language of the Heart: page 247, paragraph 1, line 6

...defeat, rightly accepted, need be no disaster.
The Language of the Heart: page 270, paragraph 3, lines 3 & 4

Received in email