Oh how I would love to update with some good news one day. - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

ihatethisdisease · 10-19-2006, 11:29 PM

Won't someone please just shoot me, I am so not kidding. I am OVERWHELMED, that is putting it nicely. If you guys remember my last post I was saying about the terrible morning I had, hell, forget morning, this has been a terrible year, or should I say life and it is only getting worse. Medicare was inspecting our clinic a couple of weeks ago, we have been informed today that we have ten days to form a plan of correction and implement it and they will be back out to inspect us and if we haven't done so they will no longer fund us which means good bye job.

Went to my son's oncologist appointment today for the results of the CT scan they did on the brain tumor he has. Oncologist says it is larger than they thought, no good news followed that, just basically pray with all I have within me that the tumor is benign, because if it isn't he doesn't stand a chance and it is risky even if it is benign. Biopsy is scheduled for Monday, PLEASE keep my boy in your prayer, and me too, I guess because I am hanging on by a really small thread.

I think I managed to piss off or hurt everyone's feelings that I talked to today, in return I hate myself even more than I did before I rolled out of bed this morning, oh wait, I forgot I never went to bed last night, so before I rolled out of bed yesterday morning.

Former foster mom who has been battling cancer was just sent home with hospice, given 1-3 months to live.

Well, I think I am going to stop there.

peajaye · 10-19-2006, 11:58 PM

I'll shoot some prayers your way. You have a lot on your plate right now. Can't say I understand because I don't but I will pray for you, your son and your former foster mom. You can lean on us. Keep sharing with us. Do you have a face to face support system, or are you on your own?
Love,
PegJean

*admin* · 10-20-2006, 03:28 AM

Lifting you and your son up in prayer right now.

Please continue to come and share with us. It always helps me when I share with others. I don't have to carry the load all by myself. We are here for you.

Love,
Tammy

10-20-2006, 06:39 AM

Hello
With all that's going on, I am understand how you could get overwhelmed. I have said a prayer for you and your son. I can't walk in your shoes but I can walk beside you and listen.

You are doing exactly what you should be doing with the disease-reaching out and venting about what is going on. As long as you stay sober, things won't get worse. Please continue to come and share. You really don't have to be alone.
With friendship and respect.
cassie

ihatethisdisease · 10-20-2006, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peajaye

I'll shoot some prayers your way. You have a lot on your plate right now. Can't say I understand because I don't but I will pray for you, your son and your former foster mom. You can lean on us. Keep sharing with us. Do you have a face to face support system, or are you on your own?
Love,
PegJean

Pretty much on my own. I don't have family. The friends that I have made in AA thus far, I am doing a pretty good job of pushing away. Stupid me. If only I were perfect.

peajaye · 10-20-2006, 09:05 AM

We can be here for you. Please update as you can and we will be praying for you and your situation. I wish there were words that could convey to you genuine friendship and concern, but that will take time. In the meantime, as one of our members here says, simply silence.

Reminds me of "Be still and know that I am God"

Doraine · 10-20-2006, 09:36 AM

You have my support during this trying time. Try to deal with just one thing at a time. Your son needs you most right now.

*janbear* · 10-20-2006, 10:21 AM

Saying a prayer for you, your son, and your former foster mom

ihatethisdisease · 10-22-2006, 12:42 AM

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during the tremendously trying time. It means a lot. I will keep you all updated as often as possible. I rarely get online anymore for leisure with as much as I have been working, but I will update when possible.

I am feeling a bit better tonight. I am definitely exhausted after working the past 14 days straight. I have working over 130 hours in 2 weeks. When I got home I was exhausted and thinking of the many things that I needed to get done and my good friend Tom called and we had a really good conversation and he drug me out of the house to starbucks and did something really special for me. I have literally no self esteem whatsoever, I pretty much hate myself with a passion, I have shared a lot of that with him, tonight he took a piece of paper and wrote down a list of qualities that he and others see in me and then signed it saying we all love you. That really meant a lot to me, I brought it home and hung it on my mirror so that everytime I look in the mirror I can see it. He is a true friend, he is more like the father I never had, or the parent I never had, I am so grateful God put him in my life.

I am starting to get pretty anxious about the biopsy on my son on Monday, please remember to say a special prayer for him that morning. Tomorrow at church they are having baby dedications and I am dedicating him.

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

10-22-2006, 09:52 AM

Quote:

If only I were perfect.

None of us are. So we all have something in common. I am glad you plan on coming back to keep us posted. Lifting you and your son up in prayer.

cassie

10-19-2006, 11:29 PM	#1
ihatethisdisease Regular Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kingwood, TX Posts: 25	Oh how I would love to update with some good news one day. Won't someone please just shoot me, I am so not kidding. I am OVERWHELMED, that is putting it nicely. If you guys remember my last post I was saying about the terrible morning I had, hell, forget morning, this has been a terrible year, or should I say life and it is only getting worse. Medicare was inspecting our clinic a couple of weeks ago, we have been informed today that we have ten days to form a plan of correction and implement it and they will be back out to inspect us and if we haven't done so they will no longer fund us which means good bye job. Went to my son's oncologist appointment today for the results of the CT scan they did on the brain tumor he has. Oncologist says it is larger than they thought, no good news followed that, just basically pray with all I have within me that the tumor is benign, because if it isn't he doesn't stand a chance and it is risky even if it is benign. Biopsy is scheduled for Monday, PLEASE keep my boy in your prayer, and me too, I guess because I am hanging on by a really small thread. I think I managed to piss off or hurt everyone's feelings that I talked to today, in return I hate myself even more than I did before I rolled out of bed this morning, oh wait, I forgot I never went to bed last night, so before I rolled out of bed yesterday morning. Former foster mom who has been battling cancer was just sent home with hospice, given 1-3 months to live. Well, I think I am going to stop there. __________________ Judith Elaine Foster September 6, 1963-November 29, 2006 Gone but NEVER forgotten. ~You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on. You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught and turn your back on the world or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on. ~David Harkins 1981

10-19-2006, 11:58 PM	#2
peajaye Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Marietta, GA--atlanta Posts: 946	I'll shoot some prayers your way. You have a lot on your plate right now. Can't say I understand because I don't but I will pray for you, your son and your former foster mom. You can lean on us. Keep sharing with us. Do you have a face to face support system, or are you on your own? Love, PegJean __________________ Recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind. PegJean

10-20-2006, 09:05 AM	#6
peajaye Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Marietta, GA--atlanta Posts: 946	We can be here for you. Please update as you can and we will be praying for you and your situation. I wish there were words that could convey to you genuine friendship and concern, but that will take time. In the meantime, as one of our members here says, simply silence. Reminds me of "Be still and know that I am God" __________________ Recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind. PegJean

10-20-2006, 10:21 AM	#8
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,175	Saying a prayer for you, your son, and your former foster mom __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

10-22-2006, 12:42 AM	#9
ihatethisdisease Regular Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kingwood, TX Posts: 25	Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during the tremendously trying time. It means a lot. I will keep you all updated as often as possible. I rarely get online anymore for leisure with as much as I have been working, but I will update when possible. I am feeling a bit better tonight. I am definitely exhausted after working the past 14 days straight. I have working over 130 hours in 2 weeks. When I got home I was exhausted and thinking of the many things that I needed to get done and my good friend Tom called and we had a really good conversation and he drug me out of the house to starbucks and did something really special for me. I have literally no self esteem whatsoever, I pretty much hate myself with a passion, I have shared a lot of that with him, tonight he took a piece of paper and wrote down a list of qualities that he and others see in me and then signed it saying we all love you. That really meant a lot to me, I brought it home and hung it on my mirror so that everytime I look in the mirror I can see it. He is a true friend, he is more like the father I never had, or the parent I never had, I am so grateful God put him in my life. I am starting to get pretty anxious about the biopsy on my son on Monday, please remember to say a special prayer for him that morning. Tomorrow at church they are having baby dedications and I am dedicating him. Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers. __________________ Judith Elaine Foster September 6, 1963-November 29, 2006 Gone but NEVER forgotten. ~You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on. You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught and turn your back on the world or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on. ~David Harkins 1981

10-20-2006, 03:28 AM	#3
admin Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 28,249	Lifting you and your son up in prayer right now. Please continue to come and share with us. It always helps me when I share with others. I don't have to carry the load all by myself. We are here for you. Love, Tammy

10-20-2006, 06:39 AM	#4
cassie Guest Posts: n/a	Hello With all that's going on, I am understand how you could get overwhelmed. I have said a prayer for you and your son. I can't walk in your shoes but I can walk beside you and listen. You are doing exactly what you should be doing with the disease-reaching out and venting about what is going on. As long as you stay sober, things won't get worse. Please continue to come and share. You really don't have to be alone. With friendship and respect. cassie

10-20-2006, 09:36 AM	#7
Doraine Trusted Servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Lansford, PA Posts: 1,308	You have my support during this trying time. Try to deal with just one thing at a time. Your son needs you most right now.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
The It Works that Addicts wrote	dalin	Narcotics Anonymous - Substance Abuse Recovery	20	10-15-2008 08:43 AM
In Loving Service -The Gaps in the Service Manuel	dalin	Narcotics Anonymous - Substance Abuse Recovery	3	04-19-2008 12:58 AM
The Co-Dependent's 12 Steps - Lots of info	admin	Family & Friends of Alcoholics/Addicts	2	03-28-2008 03:54 PM
What's Love Got To Do With It?	admin	Christians In Recovery	0	02-02-2008 02:31 AM
Good News	admin	Christians In Recovery	0	11-06-2007 03:24 PM