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Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 28,249
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Tame Family Clutter
TAME FAMILY CLUTTER -- THE SATURDAY BOX
By Cheryl L. Fuller, Ph.D. Does this happen in your house? The kids come home and boots come off here, coats in a heap there. On the table is a pile of stuff -- keys your husband left there, books from last night's homework, a game. And then in the morning as everyone is scurrying around trying to get ready for school or work, you're bombarded with "Where's my science book?", "Help me find my keys!", "I can't find my boots!" Tired of the clutter and trying to get them to pick up their things? Here's a technique that will bring the clutter under control without ever raising your voice: The Saturday Box First get a large cardboard box and on the side write Saturday Box. Now gather the whole family. Show them the box and then tell them that you don't want to nag anymore about putting things away or for everyone to be frustrated when they try to find things. So every night before you go to bed, you will go through the public rooms in the house and everything that is not where it should be will go into the Saturday Box and it will not come out again until Saturday. Let them know this applies to everyone in the house, adults included. Resist the temptation to say anything more about it; don't remind anyone; don't tell anyone to pick up. Before you go to bed, just put anything left where it doesn't belong in the box -- don't exempt yourself or anyone else or any thing. Chances are in the first few days at least one person will leave stuff that gets moved into the Box. That person will no doubt come and ask you if you know where it is. At this point you smile benignly and say, "Well yes. I put it in the Saturday Box last night. I'll be happy to give it back to you Saturday morning." You may now hear howls of protest about how important that thing is. You nod and smile and say, "I'm really sorry this causes a problem for you, but it will not be available to you again until Saturday. I guess next time you'll remember to put your things where they belong." Do not argue. Do not give in and let them have it. This is important. On Saturday morning, quietly return everything in the box to the respective owners. Be pleasant. No lecturing. If you are consistent and firm, it will not take more than a few days before everyone is taking responsibility for their things. Children under the age of 6 or so will need some help in remembering the rule, so it is fine to remind them before they go to bed that they need to be sure that everything is where it belongs. |
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