Why Do I Feel So Tired?

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Why Do I Feel So Tired?
by Debra Waterhouse, M.P.H., R.D.

(Editor's Note: While this article and the book it is excerpted from are
written for women, the information it contains pertains to both genders.
Men, as well as women, will greatly benefit from reading and following the
advice given.)

Chances are, this question has crossed your mind more than once today. You
felt the wave of fatigue come crashing over your body, and the question hit
you like a ton of bricks. But having neither the energy to figure out why
nor the time to let yourself be tired, you grabbed another cup of coffee and
forced yourself to move on to number 14 of 32 on today's to-do list.

If you could take the time to ponder this question, what would be your
answer?

"I must not be organized enough." Organized? With the amount you have to
accomplish each day, even Martha Stewart couldn't keep her day planner
organized by the minute, her desk clear of clutter, and her sock drawer
lined up by color.
"Maybe I'm premenstrual." While it's true that your fatigue level increases
during PMS, you can't possibly be premenstrual all month long. You're
actually in the middle of your cycle and should be at the peak of your
energy, not the pit.

"I'm menopausal, so I'm supposed to be tired." True again, but are you
supposed to be this exhausted? Hot flashes can drain your energy, but you
feel like you've been run over by a train.
"Maybe I have chronic fatigue syndrome." Less than 1 percent of our fatigued
population can be clinically diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome (or as
it's called now, chronic fatigue immunodeficiency syndrome). For the rest of
us, fatigue is not an illness. It's a chronic feeling of exhaustion caused
by doing too much and resting too little.
"I must be fighting something." Occasionally an intruder virus may be
zapping your energy, but if it's not flu season, most likely the only thing
you're fighting is your fatigue.
Daily, relentless fatigue is not due to viral invasion, an illness,
organizational impairment, PMS, or menopause (although these can certainly
intensify it). It's due to the reality that you're overworked, overstressed,
overextended, and overwhelmed -- and underrested, undernourished,
underjoyed, and under a dark cloud. You feel tired all the time because you
are tired all the time. And you're not alone.

The undisputed medical fact is: We're in a female energy crisis. At any
given time of day or night, 80 percent of all women report fatigue. We drag
ourselves out of bed, unrefreshed and anxious about the day, then rush
through our day as we fall farther and farther behind schedule, and finally
collapse in bed worn out and worried about tomorrow. Every woman I know
personally and professionally makes some reference to how stressed, spent,
worn-out, unhappy, or disconnected she feels. And those who don't come right
out with a verbal declaration of their exhausted state of existence give
more subtle signs. I can hear it in their labored speech or see it in their
strained faces -- the same dark circles and furrowed brow that are sometimes
familiar from my own reflection.

Since "the mirror doesn't lie" is a widely accepted adage, let's use it. Go
into the bathroom or take out your compact to view your face of fatigue. Do
you look enthusiastically alive or dead tired? Even the best makeup job
can't cover up fatigue. As you walked to the bathroom, did your steps come
with ease or excruciating effort? When you're worn out, even a short journey
can feel like a monumental feat.

It's impossible to look, feel, or act vital when you are exhausted from
stressful days, endless schedules, and/or sleepless nights. In the most
basic sense, energy is life. It gives us the passion and enthusiasm to
actively live. Without it, we passively go through the monotonous motions of
life without truly living. It's no wonder that only 24 percent of us say
that we have a good life, that more than 50 percent say that we feel sad
more often than we feel happy, and that one in four women will experience
major depression in their lifetimes. We feel depleted and defeated by our
exhausting lives.

I have been helping women for almost twenty years by writing books, giving
seminars, and providing counseling, and what saddens me most is that the
majority of women I come across have resigned themselves to a life that
lacks happiness, a heart that lacks passion, a soul that lacks spirit, eyes
that lack sparkle, and a body that lacks nourishment. "That's just the way
it is," they tell me. "I don't have the time, energy, or desire to be
anything but exhausted. Maybe when the kids are out of the house, maybe when
I'm twenty pounds thinner, maybe when my ship comes in, maybe when I win the
lottery, maybe in my next life -- things will be different and I'll have the
time and energy to take care of myself."

Well, maybe your kids will live with you longer than you'd like, perhaps
your body was meant to be a bit larger than that of an emaciated model,
maybe your ship has sunk at sea, maybe you'll be one of the 999,999,999 who
don't win the jackpot, perhaps this life is it. What then? Another ten or
twenty or thirty years will go by and instead of wondering where your energy
has gone, you'll wonder where your life has gone.

Needless to say, fatigue can be a real downer -- in more ways than one. And
despite the dismal topic, I want to give you some light heartedness to lift
your spirits and a positive approach to a negative subject. Every cloud has
a silver lining -- even the dark cloud of fatigue -- and my goal is to help
you find that silver lining, solve your personal fatigue crisis, and enjoy
the journey to enhanced energy, balance, and peace. In other words, I want
to help you give yourself the gift of living.

If you are like many of my female friends, clients, and colleagues, you may
be excited about the prospect of enhancing your energy and restoring your
vitality. "Quick! Tell me now! What pills should I be taking? I've heard
about ginseng, should I try it? How about B12 injections? Which energy bar
is the best? Tell me what to do!"

My female circle knows me better than to ask about quick-fix megadoses,
potions, drinks, injections, or bars. But you may not, so let me introduce
you to the philosophies that guide everything I do.

A woman's body is a miracle of engineering -- from our premenstrual tension
to our menopausal memory loss, from our food cravings to our mood swings,
and from our expanding fat cells to our extreme fatigue -- explanations
exist for everything our bodies experience. Listen to and trust the wisdom
of your female body -- it's the expert in directing you down the path of
health, vitality, and longevity.

You are responsible for your own health and well-being -- not me, a book, a
pill, your partner, your homeopath, your doctor, or your therapist. You have
to take charge to recharge your energy.
There are no quick fixes or magical cures -- if it sounds too good to be
true, it probably is.
Historically, women's concerns have always been a magnet for the purveyors
of unproven remedies and miracle cures -- whether it be for PMS, menopause,
aging, or weight loss. Just look to the diet industry as an example. For the
past forty years, we have been presented with diet after diet, gimmick after
gimmick, pill after pill, each leading us to believe that it is the magical
solution to weight loss.

Let's learn from the past. We have forty years of gimmicks, but we also have
forty years of weight-loss research to prove that quick weight-loss diets
don't keep their promises -- but they certainly do keep piling the pounds on
quickly. Since we started dieting in the 1960s, the average woman has added
twenty-five pounds to the scale. We haven't lost any weight by dieting, but
we have lost a lot of energy. Instead we've gained weight and increased our
level of fatigue. Could there be a correlation here? As our dieting efforts
and weights have climbed, our energy levels and vitality have plummeted.
Maybe this is why they are called "crash diets."

It should come as no surprise that fatigue has recently tied with weight as
a woman's primary concern -- and the market is already flooded with products
that claim to "banish fatigue" or "boost energy." Manufacturers are quick to
respond to women's concerns, and their claims are convincing. What woman
wouldn't be tempted by the promise of youthful energy, sustained stamina,
everlasting vitality -- and sometimes permanent weight loss at the same
time? But promise is not proof. Some of the so-called energy enhancers may
give you a temporary surge like a cup of coffee or a candy bar would. But
also like caffeine and sugar, your body will probably be more fatigued
afterward. These "energy enhancers" may work in a pinch, but they are
external solutions to internal imbalances. They mask your fatigue for a
while, fooling you into thinking you have more energy. But the fatigue is
still there, just waiting for the adrenaline rush to be over.

If women aren't going from health food store to health food store searching
for energy enhancers, then they are going from doctor to doctor looking for
a medical cause of their fatigue. Although it's true that fatigue is a
symptom of almost every illness and that prolonged exhaustion can sometimes
be an indicator of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, sleep apnea, low thyroid
functioning, low blood sugar, iron deficiency, depression, mononucleosis,
allergies, fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue immunodeficiency syndrome, the
vast majority of the time fatigue is simply fatigue -- a warning sign from
your body that something is amiss and out of balance. More energy is being
expended than is being replenished -- and you'd better refuel quickly. And
as you will discover, a woman's fatigue warning system is more advanced and
more persistent than a man's. Our brain chemicals, hormones, and blood
supply are all involved in making sure that we "feel" our fatigue,
acknowledge it, and do something about it.

When you feel tired, accept the fact that you are tired. Your body is
communicating with you -- trying to get your attention about the fuel gauge
approaching empty and telling you that energy in is not equaling energy out.
It's informing you that you have one of two choices:

Either expend less energy by doing less -- taking a break, rescheduling an
appointment, taking a nap, meditating for a while, saying no to unsatisfying
obligations, canceling a date with a draining friend, or letting the laundry
sit in the basket until tomorrow. Or replenish more by eating a nutritious
meal, having a snack, drinking a glass of water, taking a brisk walk,
getting a good night's sleep, inhaling a few deep breaths, basking in some
sunshine, or inviting some intimacy, fun, laughter, and play into your life.
Actually you do have a third (and most effective) choice: Do less and
energize more. But I don't want to overwhelm you with too much before you
even get into this book. We'll take it one small, non-fatiguing step at a
time. Many women argue that they absolutely, positively, hands-down cannot
under any circumstances do less. They have homes, businesses, churches,
organizations, infants, toddlers, teenagers, partners, employees, employers,
parents, in-laws, siblings, friends, and pets who are depending on them.
Will the house clean itself? Who's going to do the grocery shopping? Pay the
bills? Submit the report? Complete the project? Chair the committee? Give
the kids a bath? Supervise homework? Cook dinner? Invest their parents'
retirement funds? Help that friend in need? Take the dog to the vet?

Whether we're indispensable or codependent is a matter of debate. And we'll
discuss that later. But for now, if you feel you cannot shed some things
from your hectic life, you can still understand, acknowledge, and address
your fatigue. You can still replenish the massive amounts of energy you're
expending each day -- simply and naturally -- by tapping into your 8 sources
of natural energy.

1. Food: Sink Your Teeth into Caloric Energy. To give 100 percent, you have
to get 100 percent -- all the calories, carbos, protein, fat (yes, some fat
is energizing!), vitamins and minerals, meals, and snacks you need to
replenish your body.

2. Water: Take a Sip of Hydraulic Energy. Cool, refreshing, thirst-quenching
water fights fatigue. When your body is water deprived, you're energy
deprived. But when your body is properly hydrated, your energy is quickly
restored.

3. Fitness: Power Your Body with Physical Energy. A strong, fit, muscular
body has the power to run faster than a speeding bullet, leap across tall
buildings, lift a powerful locomotive ... well, maybe not quite ... but it
does have the stamina to react, think, problem-solve, carry the groceries,
vacuum the house, and make it to your appointment on time -- often with
energy to spare.

4. The Great Outdoors: Surround Yourself with Natural Energy. Go ahead, fool
with Mother Nature. Take advantage of her fresh air, sunshine, flowers,
plants, rivers, lakes, mountains, and beaches. Then make your home and work
environment pleasing to your soul and energizing to your spirit by bringing
nature to you.

5. Sleep: Recharge Your Battery with Restorative Energy. Nothing restores
the body and mind more than a good night's sleep, and a nap can be
rejuvenating if it's short and satisfying.

6. Intimacy: Tap into Your Sensual Energy. Loving and being loved can fuel
your soul. A close friendship, a loyal pet, a touch, a hug, a kiss, and, of
course, passionate sex can all lift your spirits. But being loving and kind
to yourself may be the most powerful energizer of all.

7. Joy: Tickle Your Soul with Comic Energy. A one-minute laugh rejuvenates
you more than a twenty-minute walk. A smile (even a forced one) can lift
your mood. Being silly, playing jokes, and having fun is not just for
kids -- it's for your soul.

8. Balanced Stress: Calm Your Chaotic Energy. You can't live without stress,
and sometimes it's a source of positive energy: anticipating a new
challenge, getting excited about a new experience, or looking forward to a
change in routine. But the negative stressors often zap our excitement: an
overwhelming to-do list, endless obligations, and constant worry. Achieving
balanced stress is the life-affirming goal.

When was the last time you focused on replenishing your energy with these 8
natural sources? When was the last time you enjoyed the taste of fat without
guilt? Stopped everything and ate immediately when your body sent hunger
signals? Sipped ice water on a leisurely afternoon? Walked on the beach to
breathe in the fresh sea air? Drove to the mountains to behold the beauty of
Mother Nature? Slept in an extra hour? Asked for a hug? Gave a hug? Made
love in the afternoon? Laughed until you cried? Spontaneously called a
friend for a drink? Done nothing without the guilt that you should be doing
something?

If it's been longer than twenty-four hours, I strongly suggest that you stop
everything right now and do one of the above to replenish your body. Instead
of trying to override your fatigue by drinking coffee, taking supplements,
ignoring it, working through it -- outsmart it by recognizing what it is,
what your body is trying to tell you, and what you need to do (or not do) to
energize your body, mind, and soul.

Food, water, fitness, nature, sleep, intimacy, joy, and balanced stress --
this is where real energy comes from; these are the areas in your life that
will give you the vitality and enthusiasm you are searching for, not just
for the next hour but for the next million hours. And you don't have to
search any farther than your kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, family room, and
backyard. They are within arm's reach, just waiting for your grasp.

This article is excerpted from Outsmarting Female Fatigue, ©2001, by Debra
Waterhouse, M.P.H., R.D..