My admission

[Rebekaah]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I have a problem, one i've never admitted to before but have recently come face to face with. I have an Addiction. No its not cigarettes or alcohol or even drugs. But something that is just as dangerous and deadly. Food.

I look upon people who smoke or drink too much and scoff, wondering how could they be so cruel to their bodies as I stuff a jelly donut into my mouth. I judge yet I expect not to be judged. I prance around, proud that I am not a smoking anorexic, but in reality I'm a walking time bomb. At any time I could develop a disease related to obesity as someone who smokes can develop cancer.

I have been trying to stop but after stuffing my face with an oh henry bar, gooey egg salad sandwich, pizza, M&M's and licorice last night, I realized I can not do this on my own. I eat healthy in front of others only to binge in secret. I sneak food when no one is looking and lie when I have. I preach healthy eating, knowing that I know how to eat right, but the cravings haunt me and win almost every time. I feel guilty, ashamed and scared when I overeat, knowing I am destroying my body from the inside out. I hate myself more and more every time. Is this what a drug addict feels like?

I need help. I have come face to face with this reality and now I'm asking for it. I would like to reach out to those that hear my plight. Those that share my addiction and those who have kicked its A**.

My name is Rebekaah and I'm a food addict.

ps... admission is the first step to recover and this was the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to.

[admin]

Rebekaah, Glad to have you join us. I'll be ok for a while then I binge. After this weekend, I have to seriously do some watching what I eat.

Please feel free to continue to share with us here. Even those of us that are alcoholics and drug addicts have problems with food.

Love,
Tammy