Weekly meeting 12/6 - 12/13 What influence you at your first meeting

[fibiray]

I often remember when I first came in to AA what the older sober members had told me. Knowing that I was too sick to actually consider taking the steps, they had instilled many things into me. Simple things like if you work, do an honest days work for an honest days pay. If you don't work, do some service or volunteer work. Just for today I will dress becomingly, and accept things as they are. Don't us foul language. Be considerate and courteous. It sounds like old fuddy dudy stuff but it was all about building self respect and esteem. It was about having respect for others. It was about developing certain disciplines and cleaning up our act. Whenever gossip occured you were aburptly reprimanded so the ensure the safety of meetings. When it came to anonymity this was enforced as a means of preserving the fellowship and avoiding self sabotage. Bill W speaks often about these simple principles which I believe were the foundations of my sobriety before I even took the steps. What was your experience?

[snugsnug]

[admin]

What influence you at your first meeting

The hope I found. The hope that whatever was working for everyone else would eventually work for me. The comfort of finally finding folks who were like me and understood me and I them. Not feeling alone anymore.

[snugsnug]

I just can't remember what the actual influence was at my first few meetings, I do vividly remember my very first meeting, I had just been discharged from the Psych ward from a five day detox, I was advised by the psychiatrist to go to Alcohol Drug Services, and "check-in" with them. I went there and during my "interview" the man that eventually would be my counselor, and today a part of my network, was getting P Oed at my crap, so he told me to go across the street to the "meeting" that he was going to take lunch break. I went over there. After what I know now was the reading of the tools a fight broke out, chairs were flying, and I was dead in the middle. It scared the mess out of me. Needless to say when I got back over to ADS I was convinced that I was not like them.But I kept coming. It took me several months to realize that I was an addict, and If I picked up, I was going to die. Today the influences are those addicts that are practicing some spiritual principles in their lives.The ones that have changed their behavior and attitudes. The recovering addicts that are working and living the steps and traditions.

[fibiray]

I guess what had attracted me was aside from being completely desperate to not drink was the peace that these people had in their faces. I had spent much of my life chasing things that would bring me that peace. I came in when I was really young so the thought of having to go the rest of my life without a drink ws quite depressing. I thought to myself that if I was 60yrs old then maybe I could do this sobriety thing but at 23yrs and a whole life ahead of me I simply couldn't fathom life without alcohol. The people were not only doing it but they were happy about it. I never thought that this was possible.

[Doraine]

I knew I was home. People were speaking about things I thought were unique to me but I found out we had much in common.

[soberaddy]

My first meeting, I thought everyone were just fakin it, and that they could not possibly be sober for the lenght of time they said they were. Plus what pissed me off the most is that everyone seemed to be so happy go lucky and I was sitting there angry, sick and just wanting to die.

But after 4 yrs sobriety, have I ever changed my mind. Now I look up to everyone, they inspire me, and now I get to tell my story to the other Anne's that are there pissed off and sick, and I helped and love them just like I was helped and loved! Very Cool, because if I keep it, that's when I'm going to loose it!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me share, that brought back thoughts that I had somewhat forgotten about.

Love you all.........

[sioux]

So very many things....but in particular, the first thing I noticed was what I heard...laughter! There was so very little funny in my life at that time. I was so serious, focusing on the gloom and doom that was my life. I didn't even know how to smile.

[clean42day]

I am so grateful for the loving careing individuals who greeted me at my first meeting, no matter what my condition was when I came in the door. They stuck their hands out, intoruduced themselves and helped me find a seat. They made me feel welcome and thier smiles were genuine.
As I sat back quietly and listened...I remember being shocked at the level of honesty in which people were sharing. They were talking about secrets that my family had supressed for years, and they were talking about them freely and openly! Things I had been taught to keep quiet about = feelings. Feelings that had eaten me alive from the inside out for over 26 years. I heard my feelings being expressed through other peoples experiences. I remember feeling embarrassed for me and for them. I remember thinking for the first time....what planet did my parents raise me on? because i had certainly never seen this little corner of honesty before in my life.
I remember taking my first 24 hour chip....and everyone actually clapped for me. Wow that was a twist! I was being congratulated for having 24 hours instead of shamed for only having 24 hours. I did not understand! I was confused! the steps on the wall and the traditions were chinese to me.....the only thing that stood out that day besides the peoples genuine warmth.....
WAS THOSE PROMISES ON THE WALL......I read them over and over and over......those made sense....they gave me hope. I sat there in my chair with my fingers wrapped so tight around that little chip as if i were hanging on to life itself. That day i felt as if that little round chip in my hand was my lifeline....to that plaque of promises on the wall. I remember feeling that somehow these people had found a magical bridge to those promises and that I just might make it after all.
When we got ready to close the meeting....I got up to leave. and someone grabbed my hand. and pulled me into the circle for the Lords prayer. Not only did i feel like I belonged....I remember feeling like these people actually want me here.

There was only one other thing I remember from that day......there was this light in peoples eyes...kinda like a sparkle that warmed my heart.

That was 17 years ago and my lifeline to the fellowship has not changed....I still belong, i still feel connected, i still feel welcomed. And guess what..there is this really cool gift that the promises don't speak of. There is this really cool sparkle in my eyes and it warms my heart. and you know what's even better than that?????
is when I watch a newcomer come in the door and I stick my hand out and welcome them and months later I see that same sparkle begin to light up in their eyes. That little flicker of spirit that is rekindled...and they start to believe and hope that they can make it too.

That is the miracle of recovery.

thanks for letting me share

light and love

Gail