Adult Children

[AngieM]

Hi Folks, I am new to this Forum, but love it! I have gained so much information and hope, just sittng and reading all the wonderful posts!

I have 2 adult children who are both clearly like old Mom!
One just got her first DUI, after hitting another car and totalling hers..Thank God my Grandson was not with her...!
And a son who is living on the street, addicted to heroin.
The part that I guess I dont understand anymore is why someone would choose to live that way..these kids have been raised in the program of AA, I got sober when they were very young, and I really had hope for them...! It is heartbreaking...I pray for them and give them to God everyday, that is about all I can do, but somtimes, the pain is overwhelming...I have one friend in the program who says" Angie, it's not your life". and another, who says, treat them like another drunk who walks in the door of AA, love them and live the program so they can see, thats how it works! I think that seems to be my best bet...I guess that lurking thought in the back of my head, that they might not get it, scares me at times...I have seen it all too many times...

[fibiray]

Hi angiem welcome aboard. My heart goes out to you in the struggles that you have with your kids. It is an overwhleming thing. As you said you are powerless over them and what they do but only lead by example. Such is the nature of this disease and we can only love them into recovery. Keep coming back and god bless
Fi
xxx

[Doraine]

Angie
I got sober when 2 of my 3 kids were very young. Today one is in Rehab again and the other has a relationship with an abuser. I've been sober 19 years & 10 months. I had hoped they would follow in my sober footsteps. Instead they're doing what I did before I got sober. I wonder when they're going to get it too.

Hi Angie
A belated welcome to the forum. I am not sure how I missed your posts I am cassie, grateful recovering alcoholic. This site has been a true blessing - starting each day here sets the tone for the entire day.

My heart goes out to you - we seem to inherit and pass on our addictions. So far, my only daughter hasn't gotten caught up in it yet.

Please keep coming back. I posted to your gorgeous photo in photographs.
cassie

[snugsnug]

hey angie, are you in hendersonville, nc and if so my dad lives in flat rock, i have been to some na meetings there, this past summer, buck z, and andy s and a few others. nice town.
keep coming

[AngieM]

Hi there...no, I am in Hendersonville, TN...I recieved some heartwarming news in the last few days that my son is well, and at least I now know where he is...Smiles, Angie~

[trish]

hi angie,
So nice to meet you. I also live in Tn. I celebrated 1 year in Nov. after 20 long years of addiction. My ex-husband and I brought our son up in our sick addiction. But he is 18 now and very stable young man. Never done drugs and getting ready to start college next year. Putting them in God's hands totally is so hard as parents. But it was not until my mom did last year that I got straightened out. Your on the right track and I look forward to hearing from you.
A Freak
TRISH

[flickchic]

Hi Angie,

one of the hardest things I have ever had to 'let go of' was any control over my eldest daughter's life....she is nearly 20 now, however when she was 15 going on 16 I ended up telling her to leave our home, I simply couldn't handle it anymore....I was an amphet. addict and had been clean for some time when i discovered she was following in my footsteps, and I had violent, abusive r/ships with males, which she too did the same, I figured after seeing all that I had been through she would leave it all alone; a little niave yes!!!.....I was struggling with her attitude and the things that were going on whilst I was at work and in the end I went to a teen counsellor for suport and was told that I either continued to enable her or tell her to get out until she cleaned herself up......a very very hard decision to make....but I was pretty close to becoming a 'basket case' again myself and have four other children all younger than her, so for my sanity and their mental and emotional help I came home one day from work and told her what the go was, pack your bags and leave. I did let her know that I loved her very much and that my door would always be open to her..but she couldn't come back to live until things changed. It hurt me deeply to do this, however I am grateful to share that she did, after a few more months and a few of life's kicks up the rear end clean her act up, she ceased used and became single. I have since watched her grow and am proud of her. Sad to say she still has co-dependancy issues with her fiance however so do I , guess we both still have some growing to do!!!

I pray things change in your situation, and I'd like you to know that I do feel for you, it has to be one of the hardest things in life; watching your own children destroying themselves.

I'm sooo happy for you also that you have had news of your son.....my daughter was on the missing persons list on more than one occ., between the ages of 14 and 15 and that is deff. the most painful thing!!!!!.....espc. as we had had quite a few young women go missing not long prior to that and her dad and I always said, 'phone us'....even if you don't want to talk, just phone. she does these days, quite often thank God, and she's about to emabark on a trip around Oz with her fiance and I have set up a "phone home link for her" and told her that in the event anything happens I have emergency money put away for her flight home.

Hang in there and keep coming back!!!!

Angie, son and family

[ChristiBrs]

Hi can someone here talk to me about drug use with a needle? I'm completly in the dark when it comes to drugs. I love this person with all my heart but I don't know how in the world to help him.