can i help my mom?

[fragile]

My mom is a diagnosed manic-depressive. Also an alcaholic. Because of her on again, off again drinking problem, she's gone bankrupt and unable to take care of herself financially. She can't afford car insurence so she can't drive to a job. And the job she did have, she lost a couple months ago because she had started drinking again and never called in. She's sober now, but it's getting close to her having to leave her apartment, sell her crappy car she can't even drive. And she won't have anywhere to go. Takeing her in would require her to move out of state, and most likely tare apart mine and my boyfriends relationship.

I don't want her to become homeless. I don't want to see her hurting. I don't want her to be unsafe where other people can hurt her.

Isn't there anything i could do for her? Any place she can go?

[Doraine]

I don't want her to become homeless. I don't want to see her hurting. I don't want her to be unsafe where other people can hurt her.

You have to be careful of enabling your mother. If you take her in she may continue to drink. Her current situation may be the wake up call she needs to stay sober.
If she stayed sober she could apply for social security based on her diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Then she'd have an income to get an apartment and she could still work part time. As much as you want to you can't solve her problems for her. Alanon can help you learn how to cope with this situation. Alanon is for friends & family of alcoholics.

[fragile]

Thank you both for your responses.

I don’t allow her situation it to take over my own life. And I think because of her drinking when I was a child, and all the crazy things going on in my childhood, I have this ability to block things out. I most likely I trained my brain that way. I have too many of my own problems to deal with.

I believe there are those that can recover… and those who never will. I guess that’s a negative view. I can say that my bf has been clean for a year with his problem and I have every reason to believe he will continue to be clean. My mom, on the other hand, will never recover. Much worse things have happened to her and it never “open her eyes� to anything. I paid $300 last Christmas to put her through rehab, and she relapsed in a shorter time then when she quits without help. She paid me back the $300 eventually. So…She didn’t take advantage of me.

Even if she did get sober for good, what kinda life would she really have? I think that’s what’s so horrible on alcoholics. They’ll never be able to live down their screw-ups. They don’t get a break. They never get a second chance… they’re only allowed to try and fix the first chance, If that makes any sense.

I just wished Society would provide a place for recovering alcoholics to build a new life without being constantly beating with the mistakes they made in the past. A place better then going to rehab (which some alcoholics can’t even afford), detox, and then get tossed out. I thought my mom only being allowed in rehab for 2 weeks was ridiculous. 2 weeks isn’t gonna help her learn to cope with a life time full of tragedies and sorrow.

I think it’d be hard for her to stay sober if every thing in life that is easy for me, is too hard for her. How can you stay happy… if you have to collect pennies off the floor to feed yourself? How can you find a job if you have a history of poor work attendance? It’s easy to do a 180 and become worse. It’s extremely difficult to do a 180 to become better.

I can’t help my mom with most of her problems. All I can do is lend support. But with a problem like this… the love of a daughter isn’t enough. I just hoped there was something out there we didn’t know about.

I love my mother very much. I wish for once I could see her be happy.

Sorry about my ramblings.