12/20 to 12/27 - A HP in your life.....what does it mean to you?

[soberaddy]

For me it means being humble. It sometimes means having to do what I don't want to do. On the other hand, if I just sit down and listen to my HP long enough, I will see that whatever I am told to do is for the best even if I don't think so at that particular time.

Looking back at my last 4 yrs of sobriety, having a HP meant having someone that loves me unconditionally for the whole person that I am. He/she/it is there when I seek him from the heart. He has taught me to love me by loving me and this led me to love everyone (eventually) that comes in my life.

"Love is beautiful simply because it is what it is" (first line on my wedding invitation).

[sioux]

Walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe means that no matter how earthly things can get or human people are, there is one that has all power. People, places, things, me...have all disappointed, let me down, failed me in some way or another...real or imagined. My Creator is always there; I am no longer living a life of seperation.

The more human I have become in my recovery, the more I have needed to depend, rely on rather than defy my relationship with my Creator.

Of course, like the literature states, I must do my part. I have not been rendered white as snow, although my derlictions have been forgiven, I must participate in my own recovery, asking and seeking directions, remembering to pause when aggitated, stepping back from situations that still baffel me, at least long enough to pick another choice.

What a relief not to have to be insane!

[fibiray]

Having a HP in my life for me means that I am given the power to deal with life on life terms. What once use to baffle me, I can now handle with the strength and the support of god. For me my higher power is the ally in life that I never had before coming into aa. God empowers me to make choices and gives me the power to overcome the adversities that are inflicted upon me either externally or internally. When i first came into aa I thought this god thing was going to be short lived because it didn't seem tangible to me. Her I was a shaking shivering mess and I needed a cure or something to deal with my drinking. Instead I was told to believe in a higher power. That for me was like giving a glass of water to a drowning man. Today of course things are much different and I cannot imagine my life without my higher power. I make no decision without him, and I start no day without him. I am truely blessed.

[janbear]

The 12 step program suggested that i find a power greater than myself to help me stay clean and sober and live life on life's terms. Initially, when i walked in the rooms, i thought i was walking into a cult, but they taught me it is a spiritual program that my Higher Power can be abosultely anything that works for me. That was kewl I chose God. He, my sponsor and working the steps, and reading the literature helped me have a life i never have had. Having God in my life means serenity, even in hard times, i have the assurance He is still with me. Nothing else can give me that. He works out everything for my good whether i think it is good for me or not. He is within me and without for He definitely works through other people. He worked through the program of AA and NA to bring me back to Him clean and sober a day at a time, and living a completely different life. The Rock, My Lord, Jesus Christ.

[Jan Williams]

When I got to AA, in my thinking I was a cynic, somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic. I had fought this "God stuff" for 7 relapses and numerous detoxes and treatments (this was when insurance covered inpatient treatment, 29 years ago). The last time I drank, I came to after a 2 day blackout with the willingness to pray to a "God" I didn't believe in; and did so. The end result was that I did come to believe, but after 3 months of blackness and loneliness. The only thing I did right was to not drink, go to meetings, and pray, and also live in a halfway house for alcoholics. What I now call the beginning of a spiritual awakening was the realization, after the 3 months or so, that I was going to be OK. This may not sound like much, but for a person who had a constant feeling of impending doom for as long as he could remember, this feeling that I would be OK was HUGE. So that's my story. I've been praying and attending meetings and helping others for over 29 years now. I still don't know what God is, or who, but I do know that asking for the strength to stay sober a day at a time has been working for me for a lot of one-day-at-a-times, or one days at a time...:)

[Miss Shayla]

I've always known about my HP. I can't remember a time when He wasn't talked about. Growing up, my family didn't practice religion, but God was always somehow part of life. I've tried many churches, read many books, did studies, said many prayers to get more "in touch" with Him. I even held a paid position leading church ministries. I thought I knew Him well. Then I hit the bottom that sent me to rehab 5 years ago. I kept wondering "what the hell? I've already got this HP thing down. AA can't work for me. What are a bunch of dysfunctional, low-life alcoholics going to teach me about religion?" (And everyone answers, Nothing, of course!) So I went thru my "90-in-90" and relapsed. Started over... started getting maybe one or two pieces of the picture. Then decided it had to be a problem with my HP. I must not have the right one! ( Am I an addict or what!) So I basically started praying to whoever was the Truth. I asked my original HP to just understand; if He was the Truth, then just help me get there. That was the biggest leap I ever made in my life!! And He did just what I asked Him to do. But it has taken me so long to realize it has absolutely NOTHING to do with religion! I'm still trying to grasp that concept everyday. It is so hard for me to put spirituality above religion. Religion is so easy... spirituality seems to take something I'm just not familiar with yet.

And now that I've got through Truth it seems like I need to find the on-ramp to Trust... and from there Surrender?? It reminds me of the arial pictures I've seen of those California expressways! "If you don't like where life is taking you, pull over and let God drive." Easier said than done.

Thanks to everyone for "listening."

Miss Shayla

[Jan Williams]

Hi Miss Shayla,
What a great beginning for your spiritual journey! It sounds as if you have been the recipient of the spiritual gift of willingnesss. Now all you have to do is to keep on praying and going to meetings with an open mind (and, of course, not drink or drug). The willingness smoothes the way to the on-ramp and meeting attendance is the vehicle; or something like that. For me it was the gift of willingness and attending many meetings per week that built a trust in my Higher Power. As I have said often, AA provides a reality based practical approach to spirituality where God or HP is experienced through other recovering people. By not drinking, by prayer, and by attending meetings, I stayed sober and found the strength to do so through this process. It proved itself through the experience of doing this. Anyway keep coming back and keep on being open to the spiritual strength available through others in recovery. KCB, Jan