(SIMPLY SILENCE) just for today

[coalminer]

Given my current circumstances; this for me, would be the most appropriate place to share as best I can where I have been, where I am, how I very easily become stuck; and where I want to go on my journey!!

Honestly, given that the "freight train of emotions" (cunning, baffling and powerful) has recently returned: have a challenge in finding my own words to describe what is going on in my head; therefore; I choose to let the "wisdom" of others speak for me at present.

In a nutshell; recent events have opened up some very old painful wounds for me; it reminds me of my "ice skating" metaphor; years ago while skating on a pond; I fell through the ice. It was a very traumatizing experience. As a kid; like every other boy in the neighborhood; had dreams of becoming the star of the NHL; however; after this experience, I was not able to go back on the ice, until some forty years later.

Even my attempts to step on an artificial ice surface met with resistance. My mind knew there was no deep water underneath; however; as soon as I stepped out: my body became frozen with fear.

So, too, for me today in relationships. At these times, I am unable not only to be physically "touched" I also reject any one's attempts to even give me an emotional "fuzzy". For whatever, reason it just causes me to freeze up more.

I pray that the following will help me share my innermost "hearts desire":

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Quote:

Meditation
Hebrews 6:10-20

Readings

Have you ever noticed that when trust is high communication is easy? Even if you were to make a slip of the tongue and say something offensive, a friend who trusts you would understand what you are really trying to say. Conversely, if you are with someone whom you don’t trust all that much, you tend to be suspicious of their words. Or, you find yourself not listening at all, because you’re too busy wondering, What does he really mean?
If this is the case with human friendships, imagine how damaging lack of trust can be in our relationship with our heavenly Father. Even if we are devout Christians, we may have moments when we have a hard time being sincerely open with him, because somewhere in our hearts we doubt his goodness. If we’ve sinned, we may not have trusted in his mercy. If we’ve seen the devastation of natural disaster, we may wonder how he could allow such things to happen. If we’ve prayed for something and not received the answer we were expecting, we may wonder if he hears us.

The main reason for this distrust is usually a misperception of who God is. Perhaps we consider God as a heavenly policeman, ready to punish every misdeed of ours. Or maybe we feel that God is a distant observer of events with very little interest in the details of our lives. Add to this the tactics of the devil, who has forever been trying to convince humanity that God is not really on their side. As the Catechism tells us, man fell because he let his trust in his Creator die in his heart (397).

No matter what we may think about God, the fact remains that he is completely and irrevocably committed to us. Behold I am with you, even until the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). He will never abandon us. He will never change his mind. He is utterly trustworthy. He will hold nothing back. Jesus, the image of the invisible God, has proven his love by offering his life on the cross. Do we have any reason not to commit our lives and hearts to him in return?

Lord Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for me, and giving me a perfect picture of your unconditional love. I open my heart to you; I know you will never let me down.


Psalm 111:1-2,4-5,9-10; Mark 2:23-28

Being a typical alcoholic, co-dependent; adult-child: I have everything backwards. I have no struggle in my relationship with God any longer;

My struggle is in allowing others; human beings; into my life; my inability to receive love when freely given; and my old habit of running to my cave when the heat is on!!!

My faith and hope is found in struggling with:

Key to Serenity

The Key that Unlocks the Door to Happiness


By BuddyT

It seems almost too simple to be true, but acceptance -- accepting things exactly as they are -- can be the key that unlocks the door to happiness.

After John 3:16, it may be one of the most referenced passages in literature. It's from Page 449 of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change
the things I can,
and the wisdom
to know the difference.


The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.

This is "my truth" for me today!! (which is always subject to change with new information) and I'm sticking with it!

henry:

[admin]

((((((((((((((((((((Henry))))))))))))))))))))) I am so very glad to see you back with us.

Love,
Tammy

[free2bunme]

Henry, hope this is not too "warm fuzzy" for you to accept ....

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK!!


Read your post

i love you

[zoomie]

Henry, glad you found your way back to us. We missed you very much and I for one was wondering how life was treating you. Looking forward to reading your shares again. ((((((((((huggys)))))))))

[snugsnug]

[janbear]

Glad you are here. Love you

[clean42day]

Hi there (((Henry))) nice to see you

[Prescott]

This is "my truth" for me today!! (which is always subject to change with new information) and I'm sticking with it!

henry:

How dare you call me and old fart. I'm a fart in progress I'll have you know!! And they don't stink like yours !! Love ya brother!!

[Doraine]

Henry.

[free2bunme]

I'm a fart in progress I'll have you know!! And they don't stink like yours !!

Y'all are silly! You make me laugh!

Mornin Henry!