How do I love me?

[clean42day]

How Do I Love Me?
The secret to finding true love begins with you.
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

It is so important that we nourish ourselves -- body, mind and spirit -- and treat ourselves like goddesses. Being kind to oneself is a healthy habit to get into, and the best way to get into the groove is to set aside "Goddess Time" each week for you, and you alone!
We give so much to others, why be stingy with ourselves? Whether in a relationship, hoping to be, or simply enjoying single life, a date with ones self is a powerful metaphor for self-nourishment. And it is the first and most important step toward a balanced, loving relationships with others.

Where to begin? Imagine there is someone in your life you can depend on to pamper, heal and revitalize you, and treat you royally -- for at least a few undisturbed hours each week. Now, imagine that "someone" is YOU. Pick something that would bring you great pleasure -- an activity, an experience, or a material gift -- and agree to give it to yourself.

Start off with something simple. Try a "self-love bath." Crown yourself Queen for a Day or Goddess for several hours a week -- and pamper yourself. Buy beautiful candles, scented oils, flowers. Draw a bath. Play relaxing and sensual music. Slip into the warm water, daydream and allow yourself to bask in the energy of love. It truly creates an impression in your own mind and spirit that you are someone who deserves royal treatment and who is willing to receive it! I cannot tell you how much a simple act of self-love will bring you closer to receiving pampering from others. At the most basic level -- a nice warm bath with candles is very relaxing and it gives you a chance to meditate. and get a new perspective on life.

How do I love me, let me count the ways. Other simple delights include: light a candle and relax in a favorite chair for 15 minutes; take yourself to a movie, out to dinner or to a museum exhibit you've been meaning to see; buy yourself a small gift. The best way to keep your soul nourished is to create an ongoing environment for this nourishment.

Date yourself regularly: Many of us take time out for ourselves just once in awhile and neglect to create the foundation for ongoing revitalization. Why not carve out time and put things in order so that you can access these experiences of self-love and care, regularly. This may mean keeping your favorite bath oil and candles on hand at all times. or ensuring that you have several hours a week alone, to yourself. Think of it this way. if you were dating someone special, wouldn't you go out of your way to make dates and focus attention on the relationship? Do it for yourself, first. this sets the groundwork for others to treat you like the goddess you are!

[clean42day]

This seems to be such Foriegn concept and a common thread among Addict/Alcoholic women. Rarely does it occur to us to take care of ourselves as we would our children, or spouse. we are so use to pampering others.

well guess what? there is nothing wrong with pampering ourselves, loveing ourselves is NOT Arogant or selfish....it is healthy.

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day who happens to be a man and his therapist suggested this very same concept to him. She told him learn to do the things for yourself that you would do for the women in your life. So he went out the other day and bought himself some flowers! came home and put them in a beautiful vase on the kitchen table....so he could enjoy their beauty and to remind himself that he is special even when he doesn't have a woman around to love him. HOW COOL IS THAT??????????

come on Ladies....if a man can do it so can we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sponsor suggested I write myself a love letter..... still working on it

light and love

Gail

[free2bunme]

[Nana]

I don,t know.....Hard to break old habit,s.I usuallt wait on hubby and the kid,s......For me I just can,t seem to do that..........I would be nice.........Love Nana

[peajaye]

I am so glad this is a lesson my sponsor taught me early on. It was also reenforced through much therapy. I had many a bubble bath in my first years of recovery. The most important loving thing that I learned to do for myself was to change the way I thought about myself. Thoughts manifested into feelings and feelings into behaviors. Today my feelings are still pretty much driven by my thought life, but my behaviors no longer need follow my feelings. Recovery has taught me some self-discipline. I guess that is what it took for me to change my thinking. I got many loving affirmations and became obsessed with using them. This is what I share with my sponsees. Each and every time I would catch myself thinking an unloving thought about myself, I would "stop drop and roll". Immediately go right into my affirmation of the moment. Some as simple as "I love myself just the way I am" some as complex as: "I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it. As I spend a few days doing this affirmation over and over, my outer effect pattern of procrastination will automatically begin to fade. As I internally create a sense of self worth, then I no longer have the need to delay my good."

I learned to do just what this post is talking about. For the most part, I love myself and treat me well today. It was so out of character a few weeks back I was trying on the third pair of jeans trying to find some that would close and thought as I looked in the mirror, "I hate myself" That came out of left field. It has been many years since I went there. Pulled myself up by my bootstraps and resolved to not eat so much. I've done well and I've done not so well in that area, and just not well enough to wear my jeans, but I've learned to treat myself kindly no matter what and remembered to love me right where I am, belly and all.

[flickchic]

"I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.

Great affirmation PJ, and Gail: a great post, thank's.

I can soooooo relate to the "I hate myself" when trying on clothes sitting in the wardrobe. I have gained much weight since being at home on w.comp and every now and then I go into a "bad hair day" mode and cannot find something to wear in the lot that I normally use since gaining weight, so I start going through the other clothes, and then self abuse when I see how tight they all are. Then I get a rather "off" attitude for the day. Not healthy at all.

[CaveMan]

for a while i thought i had to learn how to love myself before i could love another person. how alone that concept kept me... 4 years... eventually i heard some things that began to change the way i look at the world. by following the spiritual principle of selfless giving i found that i had to lose the fear of opening up and loving another person for who they are before i could find self acceptance and self love. these are the principles i try to practice in my life. when i began to feel true love for another person i began to feel true love from my higher power and myself. and that is what changed my life.

[Humblepie]

That is some good stuff caveman. I have never been able to figure out how to love myself. I like what you said and am going to start putting it into practice.

Thanks man.