Jan 24-27 - What suggestions helped you when you were new?

[admin]

What are some suggestions that were made to you that you found helpful to you when you were new to recovery?

[snugsnug]

I know when I got here I was done, finished. After spending 17-18 days in the surgical ward of a hospital and 5 days on a physic ward I was basically messed up. I was sent to a meeting before the treatment center would do my intake, it was a noon meeting, I do not remember much about it, what I do remember was that there were no empty chairs, I had to stand. I went from there to treatment. That night I went to another meeting in treatment and picked up my white tag. It was suggested that I do 90 meetings in 90 days, get some numbers and get a sponsor. And above all else, give myself a break. I took these suggestions, did my 90 in 90, got a sponsor and started working my steps. I got a few numbers and used a few of them. Some of those first addicts that I would call from treatment are still in my network today.

[Prescott]

The best thing I did was to get a sponsor that was completely opposite then myself. Younger, a non veteran who was actually working the steps. Then the next thing was going into a sober living home for men. Meeting's and more meeting's becoming a member of a home group and taking a commitment.
Staying in out-patient care for about 2 yrs all of these helped allot.

[peajaye]

The very most important suggestion for me was to find women in recovery and leave the men alone. I began to take the steps and found women with solid recovery and began to open up to them. They showed me how to live. The slogans helped me a lot in the beginning. The serenity prayer and the 3rd step prayers saved me through many trials.

[free2bunme]

I agree with PJ, the suggestion that women stick with the women and men with the men was one that I did NOT follow at first ... but when I finally decided to actually take suggestions, I found that there was a very good reason for it! It was the best thing I have ever done for my recovery.

Also, I hung on to the hope of oldtimers who told me that "it gets better" -because it surely did not seem like it at the time.

90 in 90, also very helpful.

[Doraine]

Besides meetings, reading the BB and working the steps reading the Living Sober book helped me a lot. I needed to learn how to live.

[threeby]

Hi this is my first reply. When I was new all I could do was show up. I got a sponsor. She had me call her everyday. It was hard...i didn't like talking on the phone. I know now that it was a type of accountability. I could say oh..i'm fine. Sooner or later i would be spilling my guts, mostly anger all over the place. I went to alot of meetings. It was suggested don't drink and keep coming back. I did. I did puzzles when i was alone..i colored and watched alot of movies and HBO series on DVD. I held on until it started changing. The hardest part for me was asking for help and finally telling someone that i was NOT OK. Thanks for letting me share:)

[fibiray]

There were so much good suggestions given to me. The first was don't pick up that first drink and get to plenty of meetings. When you are home alone and bored get a hobby to divert your thoughts from a drink. Being idle is the devils work as they say. If you work, do an honest days work for an honest days pay. If you don't work do some volunteer work to keep your self occupied and to do something constructive. Men were to stick with me and women with women. Look after your physcial appearance, curb the cursing and clean up your act. Most imporatantly try and do something for someone else without being found out. thats me two bobs worth.

fi
xxx

[flickchic]

first and foremost, if I was going to do it then do it for the right reasons; i.e.for me first and not because I thought it'd make other like me better.

When I first hit drug-rehab over 7 years ago the Serenity Prayer was something I learnt and said over and over, now i have learnt to actually use it, I think back then just being guided to try and find a HP was helpful. One thing I was told way back then often was to stay away from anyone or situation that involved drugs of any kind....which i did for a long time.

Again, I think when I first quit drinking a year ago and joined here the first thing that I took from the board and tried to work with was; finding a HP, finding something/one to fill the gaps, the lonliness and emptyiness. And acceptance...acceptance that I could live a better life without the drugs and alcohol, that I could learn to enjoy living healthier without those things.

[sioux]

"Act as if this is going to work". "Do not be discouraged." "Resign from the debating society." "Either G-d is or G-d isn't." "Keep an open mind." "Take what you need, leave the rest. This is a smorgesboard. You can go back and get what you left if what you took isn't enough." "No is a complete sentence."

Those are the things that worked for me in the early stages of recovery.

Acting as if bought me time to believe that it was entirely possible I could have a new way of life that didn't include booze, drugs, and my twisted ideas of "fun."

Learning to say "No thanks" without an excuse attached to it ketp me from getting in cars with people I thought were okay just 'cause they touted sobriety.

Resigning from the debating societ allowed me to accept what I couldn't change, and stop insisting that I could rewrite the Big Book, the Traditions and the various prayers used in meetings. I kept an open mind. Uh...hard reality: AA didn't need me as much as I needed AA. It was working fine before I arrived, and will continue long after I'm gone.

G-d is not magic 8 ball or jeannie in a lamp. I don't understand it entirely, but enough to believe the Creator has a better plan for me than I did/do.

And I took what I needed at the time I needed it, and went back for a heaping seconds of those things I didn't need at the time. I have learned to let go of things that are no longer serving me well.

But today is a new day and the one I hang onto the most is "you can't save your ass and your face at the same time." I'm an ass opter.